living a nightmare
by dansgrl23
Summary: It's about a girl named Shelby who is a different kind of vampire; she's seeing Embry, and he is a wolf. NOW COMPLETE!
1. chapter one bad luck

Chapter 1: Bad Luck

I'm 15 years old, and I'm homeschooled because my parents won't let me go to public school. I am different. I live for peoples' blood. See, my family are different kind of vampires not like the Cullens or the Volturi, even though they Volturs drink human blood, our kind can go without blood for a while; longer than 2 weeks. Also my eyes do change colors. We move a lot but this time we are staying in Forks I hope. I also have the same powers as both Alice and Edward. I can predict the future and read peoples' minds. Anyway, my life is going good here. I'm seeing Embry, Jake's friend, and I became friends with Nessie and Jake. sh

e was my first friend when I moved here. My parents are also friends with hers.

my name is Shelby Lynn, my parents are Crystal and Lee McKaynce. Well, I guess I better get going, my parents are calling me.

"Shelby, come here," my dad called.

"I'm coming," I replied as I came downstairs.

"Your mom and I going to the Cullens'. Would you like to come and see Renesmee?" my dad asked.

"No, it's okay, I'm sure Nessie and I will see each other later." I replied.

"Okay, we will be home later," my dad said.

They gave me a hug and walked out of our house. As I walked up to my room I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Embry's number. It rang twice before he picked it up.

"Hey Babez," he said.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Nothing much; just here with Quil and Jake," he replied.

He knows I don't like Jake, and I tried to tell Ness that too, but she will find out. ("My parents went over to the Cullens. Want to come over?" I asked.

"Shels, I'm so sorry but I can't," he replied.

"It's okay." I said, sounding hurt.

"But I would stop by after I'm done with the pack," he replied.

He knew I didn't like that, cause you never know. Like I told you, I don't really trust Jake, it's something about him. I also warned Renesmee about him. And he told me everything is fine with Jake. Like I listen to him, I don't. When he gets back we have a double date with them.

"Shel, you still there?" He asked.

"Oh sorry, I was going through my closet since we have a date tonight," I replied.

"Okay I love you. Bye." He said.

"Yeah, I love you too. Later," I replied.

We both hang up the phone and I went into the bathroom to get into the shower. I had to make sure the doors were locked. Let me tell you a little story of why.

It all started one night My parents went out someplace and I didn't want to go, so they left me home. It was late, so I locked the doors—or thought I did. I was sleeping and someone broke open the door and went up to my room and he forced himself on me, before I woke up he was gone. I ran to my to the phone and dialed my dad's cell phone. I was freaking out , I know vampires don't shed a tear but our kind does. Both of my parents drove home fast, like any other parent would do, but my dad is a tracker, so guess what he did. He found the guy who did it and killed him. So that's why we moved to Forks.

Okay I was in the shower when I heard someone walking upstairs.

"Mom, Dad, are you home?" I called.

None of them answered.

"Embry, is that you?" I called.

No answer.

The footsteps were getting louder. I was getting freaked out again. I grabbed the towel and stepped out onto the bathroom floor. As I was wrapping the towel around me I saw the door knob turn, then the door flew open, there stood Jake. My eyes were wide open.

"Jake what are you doing here?" I cried

"To came see you Shelby," he said

"Try to knocking next time." I was still shaken up."I did," he replied. "I need to talk to you," he demanded

"Can I get dressed first?" I said.

"I guess," he replied.

I walked to my room. I walked toward the dresser when I heard the door and locked it.

"Jake, what are you doing?" I cried.

"I told you." He says as he grabbed me and pushed me on my bed.

"J-Jake , stop." I cried.

He unzipped his pants and then he was on the top of me. I tried to push him off of me, but I couldn't.

"Stop now," I cried.

But he didn Try: I stopped thinking about what was happening; I just shut off, ignoring what was happening. About 15 minutes later he took off.


	2. Telling Renesmee & making new plans

CHAPTER TWO: TELLING RENESMEE AND MAKING PLANS

I was on my bed crying. _Why did this happen to me again? I didn't deserve this_, I thought. So I decided to call Nessie to tell her that I wouldn't be coming.

"Shelby, do you want me to come over? You don't sound good," she asked.

"Yes. Please come over," I answered as I got dressed fast.

"Okay, I will be right over," she said.

I didn't know how to tell her what had happened. I knew she wouldn't believe me.

"Okay, see you in a bit," I responded.

We hung up the phone and I waited for her to arrive. My mom and dad were over at her house and I didn't want to be alone. I was so scared.

_How am I going to explain why I have been crying?_ I was walking into the kitchen when I heard a knock. I thought that was fast. I answered the door. As I opened it, there stood Nessie.

"Are you okay?" she asked as she walked in.

"No," I answered.

"Tell me what happened," she insisted.

"I don't know if I should tell you, Ness," I answered.

"Please tell me!" she begged

"If I tell you, you won't believe me," I said.

"Try me!" she replied

"All right, I was in the bathroom when I heard someone in my house walking around. The footsteps were getting closer to my bathroom. I shouted out the names of people I thought it might be. But no one answered. So I thought it was probably Embry. But it wasn't."

"Who was it?" she asked, gasping slightly, entranced by my story.

"It was Jake, your Jake, the one you're seeing," I answered. Just as I knew would happen, she exploded at my revelation, not believing me.

"I don't believe you Shel, Jake wouldn't do that!" she yelled.

"It's true Ness!" I yelled back.

"He was with the pack!" She was still shouting.

"Well, I know it was him, I saw his russet colored skin and black hair." I recalled. "He will lie to you," I went on, as I stared out the window.

"I'll see," she says

"I know you won't believe me," I responded, shrugging.

"Shel, I know he would never try anything on anyone!" She was yelling again.

"You don't know him as well as you think," I said.

"Yes I do!" she was still yelling at me.

Though I had expected this kind of reaction, I was still upset that she didn't believe me.

"Why don't you ask him when you see him where he was?" I responded.

"I will!" she retorted.

I turned away from her.

"I thought we were friends," I said quietly.

"We are friends Shelby," she answered

I turned to face her again. I had tears in my eyes.

"Shel, I am so sorry but I just can't believe he would do that," she said.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me," I muttered.

She walked over to me and gave me a hug.

"Do you want to come over to my house and wait for me to get ready?" Nessie asked.

"I think that's a good idea. I don't want to be alone right now," I answered.

"Well, then, let's go," she said.

I grabbed my make-up bag, my phone, and my keys. I didn't have to worry; my parents were over at her house. I knew I'd be safe when I was close to them again.

"Do you mind of I spend the night?" I asked.

"I don't think my parents would mind," she answered.

We walked downstairs toward the door. I opened the door and we walked toward the Lexus that her grandparents had given her for her sixteenth birthday. I got in and we were off toward her house.

Once we arrived at her house, I got out and walked to the front door. Bella greeted us, which was a surprise. She hardly ever did that.

"Your mom and dad are in the living room," she said to me.

I walked into the living room to say hello and to let them know that I'd be spending the night over here. Then I walked up to Nessie's room. Her room was bigger than mine. There was a picture of all of us on her dresser . In the pictures it was Nessie Jake Embry Quil and Myself.I walked over to the windowsill and sat down. Nessie was coming; l could hear her, when she came in.

"Shelby, I can't believe that you beat me to my room," she said, a surprised expression gracing her face as she saw me waiting.

"I know, I'm fast," I replied smugly.

"Well, anyway, I had to see if it was okay if your could sleep over," she said as she walked over to her closet.

I got up and walked to her dresser to get a better look at our picture.

"Shel, how do you like this top and a pair of Jeans?" Nessie asked.

"They are nice," I answer

"Try them on then?" she said as she threw them at me.

I didn't want to hurt her feeling by not trying them on, so I got changed, trying on the outfit that she threw at me.

"Wow Shel, you look awesome in it, you may wear that instead of your outfit that you had on," she went on.

"Are you sure?" I asked

" Yes, I am sure , I know Embry will love it as well," she answered.

"Thank you," I responded.

I walked over to the mirror to check it out.

"Shelby , I will be out in a few minutes, make yourself at home," Nessie called from the hallway.

I hadn't noticed that she had left. I changed my mind once Ness was over at my house. I didn't promise Embry that I would go on a date with him, Ness, and Jake. It was good that they would be with us cause I didn't want to be alone with Jake. I know if I tell Embry he will be mad at him.


	3. Chapter three : the sulmber party is on

**Chapter 3 Slumber party is on:**

I was in her bedroom when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was Embry, so I answered it.

"Hello," I answered.

"Hey Hon, I was at your house and you didn't answer the door," he responded.

"Oh, that's because I'm at Nessie's house," I said.

"Oh why?" he asked.

"It was a last minute change. I know I should have called you to let you know…" I trailed off.

"No big deal. I'll just come over there," he said.

"I need to tell you something and you may not like it," I said nervously before he had a chance to hang up.

'"What is it Shels?" he asked, the trepidation in his voice suddenly matching mine.

"It's Jake," I answered.

"What about him?" Embry asked.

"He snuck into my house," I replied.

"Then what did he do?" he asked. I was getting more and more nervous with each line I spoke. I knew I had to tell Embry what his friend had done. I wondered whose side he would take in this…situation.

"He did something bad," I answered.

"What?" he cried.

"You heard me," I replied.

"You're kidding right?" he asked.

"No, Embry, I am not kidding," I answered.

I heard someone from the bottom of the stairs calling for me, so I went to see what they wanted.

"I've got to go. I'll see you later, alright?" I said into the phone as I approached the staircase.

"Alright. Love you, Babe!" he responded.

" Love you too."

We hung up our respective phones.

"We're leaving, Shelby. See you tomorrow," my mom called as she walked away.

I walked back into Nessie's room and waited for her to get done. I went and sat down at her desk. It wasn't long before she was out.

"Oh Ness, I forgot to ask you before. You did get permission for me to stay over tonight, right?"

"Yeah, of course," she told me. "They love you, and had no problem with you staying over."

"Good," I said.

"We will have an awesome time tonight," she responded. She looked excited. I wished I was able to share her enthusiasm, but the phone call from Embry had brought back the reason I was here in a frightening flood of memory.

"Embry called me," I said.

"What's up?" she asked.

"He was worried about me cause I didn't answer the door. He thought something happened to me," I answered.

She was in her closet looking for an outfit to wear.

"Oh, Jake will be here around 7:00," she told me. I felt my body tense up at her words, but then I remembered that Embry was Jake's friend. After what I'd told him, lack of details as it had been, I was sure that he wouldn't let Jake come to where I was without him.

"So I guess Embry will be with him too," I responded.

She finally find something to wear; it took 15 minutes though.

"Shelby I still can't understand why he would do something like that," she mused.

"I don't know either, but it did happen," I told her firmly. I wished she would quit second-guessing my story. It was starting to make me mad. I didn't want to be mad at Renesmee, though, so I ignored it. For now. "Anyway, what are we doing tonight?" I asked.

"It's up to the guys," she answered. "I think they want to surprise us," she went on as she was getting dressed.

"They know that I don't like surprises," I grumbled.

"Maybe they want to do it anyway," she replied. "I hope Jake didn't forget to pick something up," she went on.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Oh it's nothing," Nessie answered with a smirk.

"Oh, come on, tell me?" I pleaded with her.

"It really isn't anything," she responded.

I turned to face her. "Please tell me," I continued to beg.

"It will ruin the surprise, it's a gift," she responded.

I made a face. "Did I miss something?" I asked her, starting to get annoyed again.

"Did you forget what day it is?" She asked this question rather than answering mine.

"It's my birthday," I said.

"Yes it is!" she responded. She seemed to have inherited her Aunt Alice's love of celebrating. I knew that was insane, considering they weren't actually related, but it was really true.

"With everything going on I forgot it was my birthday" I said quietly.

"I will give your gift later," she responded.

I glared over at Nessie. She knew I didn't want anything and she gotten me something against my wishes.

"Shel, I know you're pissed off," Nessie started.

"Damn right, I am pissed!" I shouted.

"But you'll get over it," she stated smugly, again sounding like Alice.

I walked away from her disgustedly.

"I hope I didn't ruin you night," she said, suddenly repentant. Good. Maybe next time she'll listen when I tell her I don't want anything.

"No, you didn't ruin my night," I sighed. "Just leave me alone." I walked out of her bedroom toward the landing at the top of the stairs. My night had already been ruined by Jacob, but she didn't believe me on that, so I knew better than to bring it up again.

"Come back in here Shelby," she called.

So I walked back in her room.

"I'm so sorry, but I was out with Leah and Kim and I saw something that I know you will like," she went on.

"It doesn't help things," I said stubbornly.

"I know it doesn't," she replied as she walked over to me, reaching out like she wanted to hug me.

"Don't touch me," I growled.

"Shelby, you've got to calm down."

"How am I supposed to be around Jacob? After what happened to me tonight?" I couldn't keep the thoughts inside any longer. Whether she believed that the incident had happened or not, there was no way she could deny that I was obviously uncomfortable with the thought of being near him again tonight.

"Around him?" she asked, still not getting it.

"Yeah. Jacob Black," I answered.

"I don't think he would do anything like that, like I said earlier," Nessie said.

I didn't say a word because I didn't want to start a fight with her. My night was now worse than ruined; it was quickly becoming a living nightmare.

"Shelby everything will be okay," she whispered.

"It's not going to be okay," I said, probably too harshly for the situation. I didn't know how I was going to get through this night, though.

I turned to face Ness again. I knew that if something went wrong, either Nessie or Embry would help me this time.

"They will be here soon," she said.

We walked out of her room and toward the stairs. We descended the stairs and entered the living room where I went and sat down on the recliner and Nessie went and sat down on the sofa. She turned on the TV. We were quiet for a few minutes, until I couldn't handle the silence any longer; I had to break it. "Well, I did tell you not to buy my anything."

"Come on Shels, I know once you have a good time you will forgot what you said," she responded.

Damn. I knew she was right.

"I see someone smiling." She teased.

"Fine, I forgive you this time," I responded, allowing my grin to cover my entire face.

"You're one of my best friends," she said.

A few minutes later we heard Jake's car pull up to the house. We got up and walked toward the door and out to his car. Embry got out and waited for me. He had a big smile on his russet-colored skin. I ran over to him and jumped right in his arms. And we kissed.

"Do you know what day it is?" he asked, similar to the way Nessie had just a little while ago.

"Mmm, Friday?" I teased. I knew the answer he was looking for, but I wanted to play dumb.

"It's your birthday," he said.

I just smiled. I knew he was going to say that.  
"When we are alone I need to talk to you about something," I said, leaning in and whispering in his ear so that no one else could hear me.

He looked worried. "Can you tell me now?"

"No I don't want to ruin our night." I got into the car first and Embry followed close behind me, pulling me into his side as we sat in the back seat together.  
I didn't want to start a big fight. Not tonight. Tonight, I vowed to just enjoy myself. I'd deal with the ramifications of what Jake had done to me later.


	4. Chapter four : night out

**Chapter Four: Night Out**

Embry and I sat in the back of Jake's car. We were making out the entire time Jacob drove. I think Jake was getting sick of it, but I didn't care. After what he did to me earlier, I didn't want anything to do with him. I was getting worried about how Embry would react to this situation. I really didn't want to worry about this now, I wanted to have a good time tonight. Anyway, I am going to stay at Embry's tonight. We both lied to our parents about me staying with Nessie. Nessie was now looking back at us.

"Yes?" I said pointedly to her.

"Nothing," she responded

"Then what are you looking at?" I asked, giggling.

"Oh, I just was wondering how you are doing," she answered.

"I'm okay, I guess," I said.

I saw Jake looking at the rearview mirror. He looked like he was up to something; I hoped he wouldn't try anything.

"Shel, what's wrong?" he asked.

"You know what's wrong," I retorted angrily.

"No, I don't," he said.

I made a face and didn't say a word. Embry was in shock, because he didn't know what was going on. I whispered to him, "I'll tell you later." From that moment he kind of thought something funny was going on. I just nodded my head. It only took us 25 minutes to get to where we were going. I couldn't wait to get out of his shitty car.

When we arrived at the place, Jake parked the car and we all got out and walked towards the building. Embry and I were hand in hand. When we got to the building the lights were out, and all of the sudden the lights came and everyone jumped up and shouted "Surprise!" I shouted thank you to everyone. I was trying not to get pissed off at them, but it wasn't easy, 'cause they all know I hated surprises. One my friends from my old town, Kelly, was even there. I had no idea how Nessie got Kelly there. I hadn't seen her since before I moved here to Forks. She came walking over to me.

"Shelby, I missed you," Kelly said as she gave me a hug.

She was one of my best friends. "I missed you too," I responded.

I was surprised that her parents let her come out here for my party; they didn't care for me. But I was thrilled that she'd come.  
"Who is that boy looking at you?" she asked with a giggle.

"Oh, he's my boyfriend, Embry Call," I answered.

"He doesn't seem like your type," she said.

"Well, he loves me," I told her.

"All I'm saying is be careful," she said.

I just stared at her, pretending that I knew what she meant.

"Kelly, I love him," I replied earnestly.

"Well just be very careful," she said.

"I know you're just watching out for me, but you don't live here in Forks," I responded.

She gave me a hug and walked away from me to join my other friends and I walked over to Embry, Nessie and Jake. When I got to him I took his hand and led him to Kelly and my other friends to introduce them. When we walked over to Kelly, Kristen, Amber, and Jamie, Kelly turned to face me.

"Embry, these are my friends Kelly, Kristen, Amber and Jamie. Girls this is my boyfriend Embry Call," I introduced them. He looked at me then whispered, "I don't trust Kelly."

I whispered back, "It's okay, there's nothing to worry about."

"Well it was nice to meet you," he said.

"Same here," she responded.

Then he walked away from us.

"Shel, there is something about him that I don't like," Kelly said.

Embry looked back at me. I just smiled at him.

"So how do you like living here in Forks?" she asked.

"It's great. I became friends with Nessie, she's over with Embry and Jake, her boyfriend," I answered.

I was standing there talking to all four of my friends, when someone grabbed my arm. So I turn to face who ever it was. Of course it was Nessie. I grinned at her.

"Renesmee I would like you to meet my other four friends, Kelly, Kristen, Amber and Jamie. Girls, this is Renesmee Cullen. Everyone calls her either Ness, or Nessie," I introduced them.

"Hey, can I have Shel, for a while?" she asked.

"Sure why not," Kristen answered.

Nessie took my arm and led me to the center of the room. I looked all around, then I turned to face Ness, I felt so embarrassed. I didn't know why she wanted me in the center of the room, until she told everyone to sing. I didn't like it when she or someone else would do this behind my back. But whoever planned this, they invited most of my old friends.

After everyone had sung to me, there was a big cake wheeled out towards me. The cake was so big, I knew who did it. It was a three layered cake with both of my two favorite colors, black and purple with my favorite kind of flower—roses—all the way around it. Everyone was chanting my name now. They wanted me to cut the first slice, so I took the knife and sliced a piece and then Embry who was right beside me now took my hand and we both cut a piece of cake together.


	5. Chapter five : the party

**Chapter Five: The Party **

After we were doing handing out cake to everyone, Embry and I went out on the dance floor. He had his arms around me! And I had my arms around him. It felt wonderful. Not unusual, because we'd hugged and kissed before, but after the day I'd had, being wrapped up in Embry's arms was just what I needed. Honestly, I didn't even care if we danced, so long as he held me.

"So, Hon, please tell me what happen to you earlier?" he whispered.

"I don't want to talk about it now; I'll tell you later," I whispered back. Then I continued, "Tell me why you don't trust Kelly?"

"She just doesn't strike me as the type you normally hang out with," he hedged.

It felt like there was more to his thoughts than what he'd just expressed verbally, so I asked him to elaborate. "What do you mean?" I asked as I stopped dancing.

"I can tell that she was in trouble. I can also tell that she won't stop," he answered.

"Yes, she was in trouble but she promised me that she would stay out. She promised me that she'd quit that behavior. We quit together," I said. He looked puzzled at my words, so I rushed on, "I started to get involved with that scene, too, but after one time trying it, I changed my mind, so I quit."

"Why would you do something like that?" he asked, pulling me closer to him. He sounded truly worried about me, about what my past had possibly done to potentially jeopardize my future.

"I tried it so I could relax. And it was just the one time, I swear," I answered.

I was afraid that my confession would ruin our relationship. That would be a true nightmare. In an attempt to lessen any damage I may have caused with this revelation, I kissed his neck and whispered into his ear. "Embry, I love you !"

"Shelby, I love you too," he whispered back.

When he said those words, repeating my sentiment back to me, I realized that he was probably right about Kelly; she _was_ always in trouble, but she was also my friend.

"I am only trying to watch out for your safety," he told me earnestly.

"And you will," I responded as I looked around the room to find her, but she was nowhere to be found. I pulled away from him. He looked at me.

"I have to go find her."

"Let me come with you," he said.

"No, let me go."

"Let me come with you," he repeated insistently.

"Fine," I replied as I ran out of the building. When I got outside, Embry's suspicions and my fears were confirmed. Kelly was standing just outside the door, doing the very thing she'd promised me that she wouldn't ever do again. I could only stare at her in shock, watching the smoke drift away from the marijuana cigarette dangling from her right hand.

"Kelly, no," I cried.

"Shelby, I'm so sorry," she said, looking like she truly meant it. I wasn't sure whether or not I could believe her, though. The last time we'd been together, she'd apologized for having gotten me involved in her drug habit in the first place, and sworn that she would quit. And now, here we were again, in the exact situation.

"When did you start again?" I asked.

"A week after you moved," she answered, shame filling her eyes.

"You promised you wouldn't do it again," I said as tears filled my eyes.

I remembered Embry standing there right beside me now. I turned and buried my head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and looked right in Kelly's eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured.

"I want you to fly right back to where you came from," he yelled.

"You don't know her as well as I do," Kelly yelled back

"I know her well enough." He was still yelling; I could tell by his tone he was very pissed

"She tried it once," Kelly said smugly.

_Oh great here we go again with this._ He looked down at me. I shook my head.

"You don't do it anymore, I hope," he asked me.

" No," I answered fervently.

"Good," he whispered as he let me go. "I knew she's no good," he went on.

"But we are friends," I replied.

"Not as good friends as you thought," he retorted.

"Before I go, Shel,I need to see you and tell you something," she said.

"I'll be over at your aunt's house before you leave," I told her.

"Absolutely not," Embry said. "I don't want you seeing her anymore."

"Embry, I have to go see her," I responded.

"I'm coming with you then."

"Fine , you can come with."

"I love you Shelby," he whispered as we walked back into the building.

"Like I said before, I only did it to relax, and only once, can we drop it now." I said.

"I knew that I didn't trust her," he said.

"She was clean for a while."

"You could have fooled me," he said tightly, his voice dripping with venom.

"Well she was," I told him.

As we entered the room, we saw Jake and Nessie dancing. As soon as Jake saw me he let go of Nessie and headed towards me. Embry didn't seem too happy about that.

"Shelby, may I talk to you?" he asked formally.

I was so scared to be with him. "Can Embry or Nessie come with?" I asked.

"No, alone," Jacob answered.

"Embry, I'll be back," I told him as I walked with Jake.

"Shelby Lynn come here," he demanded, upset with the amount of time I was taking.

" No Jake," I cried.

"Shelby Lynn, now!" he yelled.

"No way, Jacob!" I shouted.

A mere second later Jake was right in front of me.

"Jake, stop right now," I pleaded.

"Shelby, I know you want some more," he said.

"Don't move another step," I responded.

He had one arm reaching for my body, but I smacked him.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

" Because I am in love with you , and I know your in love with me too."

"I thought you just wanted to talk?" I asked.

"We are talking," he replied.

"No, Jake this isn't talking, and I am in love with _Embry_, your best friend, and Nessie loves you," I cried.

"If you tell Embry what I'm telling you now, he won't believe you," he responded.

"How do you know?" I asked, frightened.

"He's my best friend," Jacob answered.

"We will just see about that."

He just kept on moving closer to me. I didn't know what to do now. His hands were reaching out for somewhere else. I tried to get away from him, but I couldn't. Soon Embry would be looking for me. Now Jake was inches from me. I finally was able to push him away and I ran back into the building. Embry came running over to me. I ran to meet him. He gave me a hug. I could feel tears filling my eyes.

"Shelby, are you okay?" he asked.

I whispered in his ear "Yes." I felt so bad for lying to him. I wiped me eyes with my hand, I didn't want him to know right away.

_My life is becoming a nightmare! So now what do I do?_ I asked myself.


	6. Chapter six : Kelly's Aunt's house

**Chapter Six: Kelly's Aunt's House**

It was the day after my party and Embry was coming over to get me so we could go over to Kelly's aunt's house, since she wanted to see me before she goes home to California. I was in my bedroom when my mom called from the stairs. I knew Embry was here.

"I'm coming," I yelled as I was heading to the stairs.

I was almost down the stairs when I saw Nessie and Embry standing at the front door. I was surprised to see that she was coming along. Why would she come with?

"Hey, girl!" she said.

"Hey, Nessie," I responded.

I was on the bottom step now. My mom was also there. Embry embraced me in a hug. Ness smiled at me. I whispered in his ear. He just kissed me without answering me. We both let go of each other.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Nessie.

"Embry asked me to come along" she answered.

"Because I told her what happened at your party," he said, defending the action.

"Oh, great," I muttered, hoping none of them would hear me.

I hugged my mom and then we walked out of my house and toward Embry's car. He opened the door and let me in, walked to the driver's side and got in, and then we were off. There would be a problem when Kelly saw them, I just knew it. On the way there none of us talked to each other. I was trying to reach for Embry's hand but he moved it so I couldn't reach it. I didn't know why he would move it, unless he was pissed off at me. I was so afraid that he was going to start yelling at me. He didn't say a word; I wanted to say something, but I didn't. It took us 25 minutes to get there. When we arrived at Kelly's aunt's house, Embry parked his car, then we got out and walked over to the door. When we were nearly there, her aunt opened the door. She probably was crying before we got to the door, because she had tears filling her eyes. I knew something was wrong because she had never opened the door before. With my powers—I could read minds like Nessie's dad, Edward—I already knew that Kelly had been in an accident. Before she even told us.

"Is she okay?" I asked worriedly.

"No, she is in the hospital," her aunt answered.

"She was in an accident."

_No it can't be possible._

I was about to cry when Embry turned to face me. I could read his mind right there and then.

"Can we go see her?" I asked.

"I think that would be nice of you," she answered

"She was high and drunk," I said. It wasn't a question; I knew.

"Yes, she was, she was coming back from your party and she lost control of the car and ran into a telephone pole, they rushed her to the hospital," her Aunt Lindsay responded. I didn't need her to speak out loud, of course, but I was glad she did for the sake of Embry and Nessie.

"Are you heading there now?" I asked.

"Yeah, I am," she answered.

"Would you like to ride with us?" Embry asked.

"No, it's okay," Lindsay answered.

"Okay, then we will see you there," I said as we all walked over to his car; like before, he opened the door for me and helped me in, then he went and got in and we were heading towards the hospital. _I can't believe she was that high._

"I didn't want you to see her like that," he said.

I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to start a fight with them. Nessie didn't look at me. I wished she hadn't come along, but she was here, so there was no point worrying about it anymore.

"Shelby, if I'd known she was doing drugs and in trouble I wouldn't have asked her to come," Nessie said.

"Like I told Embry, she was clean," I replied.

"Embry and I both agree, she's trouble," Nessie said.

I turned to face him, but he didn't look at me. I knew he didn't want me to go see Kelly, but after all, she was my friend and this might be the last time that I would get to see her. But I also wondered why she wanted me to see her though. It took us another 25 minutes to get to the hospital. I was so nervous to see her. He pulled up at the entrance of the hospital and let Nessie and me out; then he went to park the car. After he parked his car, he got out and walked over to us. He wrapped his arms around me and we all walked into the hospital together. Once we got in, Nessie walked to the front desk and ask the lady what room Kelly was in, then she came back to us and told us to follow her. So we followed her to the floor and room Kelly was in. When we found it, I knocked on the door and peeked in. Once she saw me she waved for me to come in. I told Nessie and Embry to stay out for now. Then I walked in and sat next to her bed. She was so messed up.

"I'm glad you came," Kelly said.

"I thought Embry wasn't going to let me come," I responded.

"The reason why I wanted to see you, I wanted to talk to you about him," she said.

"What about him?" I asked.

"Close the door please," she instructed me.

So I walked over to the door, whispering to my other friends that it was okay. Then I closed it. I went to sit next to Kelly again.

"He seems strange and different, I know he won't let you smoke, plus he is so protective of you," she said.

"Kelly, I only did it once and I haven't smoked since. Not smoking is my choice, not something he's forcing me into," I responded.

"Come on Shel, I know you better than you know your own self," she said.

"Kelly, listen to me, I'm done with that. Is there anything else that you want to tell me about Embry?" I asked, quickly losing patience with my best—former best friend.

"Yes, there is," she answered.

"Okay. What?" I asked.

"Well, I saw how he had his arms around you, I think he tried to pull a fast one on you," she said.

"I know he won't pull one on me," I said.

"That's what you think," she replied.

"I know he won't, he cares for me and loves me," I said. "I know him, he's not like that," I went on.

"You're my friend, Shelby," she responded.

"Yes, Kelly," I said.

"There's more in my suitcase, if you want it," she told me.

"No, Kelly, I don't want to and that's that," I whispered as I got up and walked over to the door. "Good-bye, Kelly, it was nice to see you again. I hope you have a nice trip back."

I closed the door and walked over to Embry and Ness. Embry got up and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me. I told both of them that our friendship—Kelly's and mine—was over now.

"Are you okay?" Ness asked.

"Yeah, I think so," I replied.

Embry whispered in my ear that he loves me. I whispered back that I love him too.

"Hon, I am so sorry that I didn't talk to you much, I was very pissed off at her and upset with you," he said as we all walked downstairs and toward the exit.

"Its okay, I don't blame you," I responded.

He kissed me outside of the building. Then we walked to his car and he opened the door and I got in than he got in the other side and we were off to Nessie's house. Embry and I were holding hands on the way to her house; I think Nessie was getting sick of the mushy stuff now, but it felt good to be with him again. When we arrived at her house I saw my parents' car and Jacob's old Rabbit in the driveway. I whispered "Can we not go in and just go back to your house instead?" to Embry.

"Sure," he whispered back. I got out and let Ness out. She gave me a hug and walked away.

"Bye, Nessie," I called.

"Bye, Shel," she called back.

"Hey, Ness, tell your boyfriend I'll see him later!" Embry hollered at her.

"Sure," she yelled back, then she was in her house.

I got back in and we were off to his house just him and me. Now I will think of how to tell him what happen between Jake and me. I hope he believes me. I was so nervous that I felt tears in my eyes. I didn't want him to see me cry. Not now. I kept replaying everything over and over again. _Maybe once I tell him it will stop. _


	7. Chapter seven: telling Embry

**Chapter Seven: Telling Embry**

We talked on the way to his house. I was trying to relax and not to think about everything that happened with Jake, and Kelly in the hospital, and seeing her do drugs. But now I'm worried about Embry. I am in love with him and this just might end our relationship.

"Shel, are you okay?" he asked, breaking into my thoughts.

"Oh, sorry Em. Yes, I'm good," I answered, lifting his hand to my lips and kissing it.

I think my whole life is a lie now. I lied to my parents and Embry, the one I want to be with. I felt so bad for the repeated lies, but I didn't want to hurt him. I hoped that by lying, I'd be protecting him, but I knew that I was just making things worse.

"We'll be at my house in five minutes," he said.

_Oh great I have to prepare myself to talk or tell him._

"Shelby, I know I told you many times before, but I love you with all of my heart."

"I love you too." I repeat the statement back to him, tears filling my eyes. He took my hand and kissed it. That made me uneasy to tell him about his friends. _I hope he will believe!_ He was right; we arrived at this house within five minutes. He parked the car and got out and helped me out. He then kissed me. Then we walked to the door and his mom opened it for us.

"Hello, Shelby," she said.

"Hello, Mrs. Call," I responded as I walked in.

Embry followed  
"Are you two hungry?" she asked.

"No, thanks," I answered.

Embry went to the fridge to get something to drink. Than we went to his room. We got to this room and we walked in and then he closed the door. I sat on his bed. He came to sit next to me. He wrapped his arm around me. We kissed for a while. I pulled away from him, then I stared at him for a minute to two, before I started to tell him.

"Shelby, is everything okay?" he asked.

"Um... No, not really, I need to tell you something; you may or may not believe me and you might be pissed too," I started. My chest was getting tight and my stomach tied in a knot; I was starting to have second thoughts about this.

"Shelby, please say something," he said.

"Well, I know Jake is your best friend," I began again.

"Yeah, and?"

"Well, he did something awful to me," I replied.

"What?" Embry exclaimed.

"You heard me!" I answered.

"He didn't,'' he said.

"I'm not lying," I insisted.

"I can't believe this," He said as he got up and walked to his window.

"I'm so sorry, Embry," I replied, crying again.

"Why would he do something like that?" he spat out angrily. I wasn't sure whether he was angry at Jake, or at me. It was still unclear whether or not he was going to take my side on this.

"I don't know," I responded as I got up and walked next to him. He turned to face me, then turned back to face outside.

"He's my best friend," he said.

"Yes, I know and Nessie is my best friend," I responded.

"I still can't believe this," he muttered.

"Whether you believe or not believe me, it did happen," I retorted as I slinked my arm around his waist.

"Its not that I don't believe you, it's just not easy to take this kind of news," he sighed.

"I need someone to understand." I replied.

"When did it start?" he asked.

"The day before my party," I answered.

"Did you tell Nessie?" he asked.

"I did, but not all of the details," I answered.

"You're not telling me everything," he suddenly accused.

"What else is there to tell?" I responded sadly.

"You know," he insisted.

"Like, did I want it to happen? Well, I didn't," I snapped.

He immediately realized his mistake and changed his accusatory tone back to one of calmness. "How did it all happen?" he asked gently.

"The first time, I was in the shower, I was finishing up and I was getting dried off so I had a towel around me. Suddenly, the door swung open and Jake was standing there with a lustful look in his eyes. I told him to wait until I was dressed, but he came in my room and locked the door behind him. The next thing I knew, he pushed me on my bed and he was on the top of me. I tried to push him off but he was too strong for me," I was speaking quickly. Now that the I'd begun the story, I found it easy to talk about.

Embry still wasn't looking at me. I was so worried that he really didn't believe me! I put my other arm around him. He didn't move it off. I was surprised. He didn't say a word, either. I didn't know what else to say.

"Embry, it's okay," I said.

He still didn't say anything. This was so awkward. I was about to freak out.

"Embry just say something," I begged.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Anything," I answered.

"You see Shelby you're my girl and Jake is my best friend," he finally spoke.

"Yes, I know but its not like I want Jake, I want you." I replied.

"I know that, but if he says something different?" he asked.

"I know he will do that," I replied.

"You talk to Renesmee and I will have a talk with Jake," he suggested.

There will be a problem, I knew once I told Embry and Nessie, Jake would come back for more. I didn't want that. But, if I tell Embry not to go and talk to Jake, he will think I am lying. And then it hit me; Embry didn't believe me. He wanted to talk to Jake to prove me _wrong_, not to prove me _right_. So what do I do now? I pulled Embry around to face me. He didn't lift his head.

"Embry, please tell me what your really want to tell me," I said.

"I need some time apart," he answered.

I felt like screaming but instead I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I pulled him close to me but he pulled away. I wanted to kiss him.

"Embry, I love you," I sobbed.

"I love you too, but I just need some time to think."

"Are you going to take me home?" I asked.

"Yes, let go." He answered as he walked to his door. I followed him. I knew this was the end of our relationship. I wiped my eyes. I was so in love with him. We were downstairs now. I just waved to his mom and walked out and towards his car. I was hurting so bad inside. _I don't know if I'll live! _Tears just kept coming. I got in his car and we were off. When I got to my house I turn to face him once last time. But he didn't face me.

"Embry, I love you," I repeated.

Then I got out and ran to my house, and without saying a word to my parents, I ran to my room, locked the door and cried.


	8. Chapter eight : my Biggest Mistake

**_Chapter Eight: My Biggest Mistake_ **

When I finally stopped crying I thought about everyone. _Now what?_ I wanted to give Embry a call, but I knew he wouldn't answer. _I am so in love, I am so alone, what should I do now? I don't have a boyfriend right now._ I went to see to if my parents were still downstairs in the den. To my surprise they weren't so I went downstairs and grab the phone to call Lindsay to see if Kelly was still in town. 'Cause I sure can use one of them right now. I dialed the number and waited for her to answer. She answered after the second ring.

"Hey Lindsay," I said.

"Hey Shelby," she replied.

"I was wondering if Kelly was still in the hospital," I asked.

"Yeah, she is," Lindsay told me.

"There is something I need to get from her bag; something she promised me I could have," I said.

"Well come on over," Lindsay responded.

"Great. Thanks, Linds. I'll be right over," I said.

"Okay, see you soon."

"Okay, see you shortly."

I headed towards the door. Once I was outside, since I couldn't drive I had no choice to walk but instead of walking I ran with my vampire speed. On my way to Lindsay's house all I was thinking about was Embry; I couldn't _stop_ thinking about him. Once again I had tears welled up in my eyes. This was no fair to me that Embry didn't want to be with me right now. It took me 5 minutes to get to her house. When she saw me, she opened the door.

"Her bags and luggage are up in the guest room," she said as I walked in Kelly's aunt Lindsay isn't a vampires so I had to slow it done so I didn't want to freak her out or even scare her , I didn't want her Aunt to tell her Parents about me scaring her since they already didn't care for me.

"Thanks," I responded.

I walked upstairs to the guest room. I saw Kelly's luggage so I walked over to them and opened it up sure enough there it was: all the drugs that she'd assured me would be there, plus some. I grabbed two of the little baggies and shoved them in my back pocket. Then I walked out and downstairs. I waved to Lindsay and headed outside.

This time I decided to walk so I could smoke it. I took it out, along with the lighter I'd hidden in my front pocket before leaving my house, and lit it. I knew I told Embry I wouldn't do this anymore, but I was so depressed and lonely now. _And it's his fault I feel this way,_ I thought bitterly. I put the joint up to my mouth and inhaled. It tasted good. Really good. I smoked the whole way home. I was almost there when I saw Jake. Oh _My God, what am I going to do now?_ Once he saw me, he came walking over to me. I quickly, and hopefully discreetly, dropped the cigarette on the ground, stepping on it to extinguish the fire. Which also had the added benefit of being able to hide it underneath my shoe.

"Hey, babe," he greeted me.

"Jake this isn't a good time. And, I'm not your babe," I responded.

"Shel, why did you go tell Embry?" he asked.

"Because he was so worried about me," I answered.

"Come with me I need to show you something," he said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Please, just come with me."

So I decided to go with Jake_. What do I have to lose now?_ I really had nothing to lose.

"Shelby, I love you," he said.

"No Jake, you love Nessie," I told him, willing it to be true.

"But I want to be with you, Shel," he said, pursing his lips like he was about to kiss me.

"I am still in love with Embry," I replied.

I didn't know why I agreed to go with him.

"Shelby, you're not like the other girls."

He was inches from me now. My second thought was to go for it, but Nessie is my best friend and I don't want to end that now. I pulled far away from him.

"Jake I have to get home." I reply as I turn and ran as fast as I could. I need to head back to my house. I was too fast for him to catch up to me. I ran so fast. I looked back to make sure he wasn't around. But he wasn't, so I took out another joint and lit it. Then I smoked it. I can't believe that I'm doing it again. I walked the rest of my way home so I could enjoy it. I was almost home—like a block away—when I finally finished it. That's when I saw Nessie outside with Leah and Emily. But once she saw me she ran over to me; I was glad that I'd already finished smoking.

"Shelby, what are you doing out this late?" she asked.

"Oh, I wanted to go out for a walk, you know, hunt," I replied. _There I go again; lying to someone._

"You don't look so good," she said.

"I'm fine," I retorted. Another lie.

"Look at me!" she said.

So I faced her. I was awful about this.

"Your eyes look glassy," she observed.

"I'm okay," I replied.

"Let me walk you home," she insisted.

So I agreed and walked with her to within a block to my house. That's when I started to feel sick to my stomach. I stopped walking when I felt like I was about to vomit. It all came up. Nessie backed up just in time. All the blood that I had drunk came up. After it came up, I felt so funny that I fell to the ground. Nessie came rushing over to me.

"Shelby, are you okay?" she asked, genuinely worried. "Don't move I'll run to get my grandpa." She went on as she got up and ran to get her grandfather. I was alone and still felt like vomiting. Which I did. This isn't good. And it isn't going to stop; I knew that from last time I smoked. I didn't think it was too long before I felt Dr. Cullen and Edward were here to rush me to the hospital. I was admitted to the hospital. I was in my hospital room, and I still didn't feel so good. I open my eyed to find my parents and Embry here standing over me. I didn't say a word. All of the sudden I felt like I was about to vomit again. And I did. I knew why I had to quit. Embry wasn't happy about this, I could tell. I heard him telling my parent that He wanted a few minutes along with me. They agreed with him and walked out of the room.

"Shelby, what happen?" he asked firmly.

"I was so depressed when you said that you needed some space that I decided to call Kelly's Aunt Lindsay if see if Kelly was still in town. So she told me that she was still in the hospital. I went over and got some of Kelly's drugs. And I left her house. I lit it one my way home and smoked it. I bumped into Jake partway home, and had to leave half of one on the ground, but once I ditched him, I just got another one out and smoked the whole thing myself. And now I'm here in the hospital." It felt good to tell him the truth, regardless of how he might react to my confession.

"You told and promised me that you wouldn't do it again!" he snapped.

"I only did it to calm me down since you dumped me!" I snapped back.

"Now I don't know if I can trust you," he said, turning away from me.

"Please, Em," I cried.

He walked over to the window and looked outside.

"I promise I won't do it again," I went on. I was not above begging him now.

"How can I trust you when all you do is lie to me?" he responded.

I was now sitting up in the bed. I heard a knock on my door. It was Dr. Cullen. I waved for him to come in. He walked in and told Embry that he needed to talk to me alone. Embry left and waited in the lobby too; he was done.

"Shelby, there is something I need to tell you." He said as he was examining me.

"What is it, doc?" I asked.

"I found in your hair test that used marijuana recently."

"Yes, I did, " I told him. No reason to lie anymore, especially to the doctor who had all the answers anyway.

"You know for us it's really poison."

"No, it's not. I used it once before and I just got sick," I said, worried for the first time that what I'd done might have much farther reaching consequences than I realized.

"I have to tell your parents," he told me gently.

I didn't know what else to say; I vomited again. Dr. Cullen came and cleaned up all the blood that I threw up. I was trying to go to the bathroom but as soon as I stepped off the bed, I fell to the ground. This time Dr. Cullen and Embry were the ones that picked me up and lifted me back to my bed. _I wish I never tried this_. But it's too late and now I'm so sick, its not even funny. And now my parents will threaten me that we have to move again. I just stared at both of them: Dr. Cullen and Embry. If I have to move I would be so pissed. I just hoped it wouldn't come to that, now that I've finally found someone I love.


	9. Chapter nine : getting worse

**Chapter nine getting worse **

I was lying in my hospital bed unable to move. Every time I tried to move I would start vomiting again. I couldn't keep anything down. I hardly have anything in me anyway. I didn't want to do it again. I was starting to feel uncomfortable again; in other words _sick_. My parents and Embry had to leave. So there was no one here to help me. I could feel it coming again. I leaned over to the bowl and threw up again. I almost fell out of my bed. This time I knew it wouldn't stop. There I am, lying in the hospital bed sick as hell. Wishing that I could die. I know vampires like me can't die, though. I wasn't going to move or I would be vomiting again. I was dumb for trying it.

A few minutes later Dr. Cullen came in before his shift ended.

"Shelby, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Not too good," I answered.

He was examining me once again.

"My shift is ending in 3 minutes," he said. "The next doctor will be checking on you."

I was feeling very bad. He looked at me as he got up and walked towards the door. As he left he closed the door behind him. I was lying here in my bed again alone and still. It was getting worse, I was getting thirsty for blood, but I knew if I drank blood I would just puke more. I was trying to relax now when I started to feel like throwing up. I put the bowl under my chin just in time, because I did vomit again. No Mom or Dad or Embry here. This time it never really stopped. I couldn't get up to use the bathroom without puking. After I was finished doing what I had to do, I leaned back in the bed, resting my head against the pillow. About two minutes later, a nurse came in to check on me. She was checking my status but when she looked down at the bowl it was almost full. Then she looked at me. I was still throwing up.

Now it was every ten seconds that I was vomiting. Nonstop. She pushed the call button to get the doctor that was on the floor. He came running in. I knew the doctor rushed me to the ER, to see if he could help. He tried everything but nothing worked. He looked at me; I was still puking. Neither of them knew what else to do, so he went to the nurse's station to call Dr. Cullen to help.

"Dr. Cullen is on his way," the doc says as he rushed in to the room. "He should be here in a few minutes." I hoped he was right; I really needed a competent doctor right now; this guy seemed nice enough, but Dr. Cullen was like me, and I knew he'd be more helpful.

Sure enough he was here, he rushed in, changed into green doctor scrubs, and washed his hands.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"She hasn't stopped vomiting," the other doctor answered.

"Let's see what I can do." Dr. Cullen came closer. I looked up at him. He looked frightened. Then he looked at the nurse.

"I can use something," he told her.

I felt so weak that I could barely walk or talk. I wanted to ask how Nessie was doing, but I couldn't because all I was doing was puking. I think he knew I wanted to ask about Renesmee, so he said she was worried about me. I knew she was worried about me; I think she was with Jake. I was still vomiting. While Dr. Cullen was trying to find a way to make me better, it gets me. He's a doctor, he should know. It was nonstop vomiting. He was getting worried, I could tell. He looked over at the nurse and told her to call my parents. But why I wasn't dying? The nurse went and called my parents. I couldn't stop it, it was scaring me. I know my parents are going to make me move once I am better. I hope Embry will talk to them about staying. I don't want to move.

The nurse reentered my room. "Shelby, your parents are on their way."

I quickly asked, "Why?" before I started to throw up again. This isn't funny. He told me he that he didn't get to tell them. Maybe Embry will be here too. But why, he is so upset and pissed off. Now I have to think about myself now. Or Maybe Jake will be here tomorrow. But why he isn't with me, he's with my best friend Nessie.

"Shelby you're almost healed," Dr. Cullen said.

"I still feel weak, like Jell-O," I replied.

He just laughed.

"You'll feel stronger once you get some blood in you," he said quietly, making sure the human nurse didn't hear that.

The thought of blood made me want to puke. So I did, involuntarily.

_Yes, he's right I'm slowing down._  
He was now examining me thoroughly.

"You won't be throwing up as much but I want you to stay here three days."

"But I need a drink."  
"Yes, I know, you do. I'll bring you some animal blood."  
"Ew, I can't; it'll make me sick."

"You have to try it."

"No way."

"You have to."

"No! I'd rather stay here than drink that!"


	10. Chapter ten mix feelings

**Chapter Ten: Mixed Feelings**

I was lying in my hospital bed when someone I didn't want to see came walking in. He also brought something for me. I just stared at him. He came closer to me. I raised my hand for him to stop, but he didn't. He sat down by my bed.

"I saw Embry on my way over here," he said.

"Did he say anything?" I asked.

"Nothing about you."

"He is probably still angry at me," I said.

"I don't blame them for being mad at you," he replied.

"Where's Nessie?" I asked.

"She's out with Emily and Leah," he answered.

"So why did you come and see me?"

"I came to apologize to you."

"Why did you try to scare me?"

"I didn't mean to scare you."

"Well you did." I said, not ready to forgive Jacob yet.

"I'm sorry for that," he responded.

"I hope you liked it."

"I did," he replied with a look of pleasure at the memory. I had a very different reaction to that memory; mine was one of terror combined with nausea.

I looked away from him, disgusted.

"Shelby, I wanted to talk to you," he said.

"Huh?" I ask

"Renesmee and I aren't together anymore."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but I don't see how that affects me at all."

"Will you go out with me?"

"I am still in love with Embry," I answered.

"Yeah, but I still have feelings for you, Shelby." Jake stood from his turquoise-colored recliner and leaned over me. He pressed his lips gently against mine.

I kind of enjoyed it and eventually gave in, returning the kiss.

"Shelby, I love you," he whispered. "Will you go out with me?"

"I don't know Jake," I answered, beginning to regret kissing him back. I really did love Embry; even though he had broken up with me, I couldn't deny the feelings I had. I didn't want to risk something that could be rekindled for Jake. He said he loved me, but I just didn't feel that way about him. Plus, Nessie was my best friend. What would she think if I dated her boyfriend? Even if he was telling the truth and they had broken up, you just don't date your friends' exes. It was girl code.

He gave me the sad puppy dog look. He leaned closer to me and kissed me again. This time I kissed him back more intensely. I didn't know what I was thinking. I had so many mixed feelings about this that I didn't know what I was doing!

"Shelby, I will go now, but I'll stop by tomorrow," he said.

"Okay, bye," I replied.

He got up and walked out of my room. I was about to call Nessie when Embry came walking in. I was surprised to see him. He didn't look happy to see me, though. I looked down at my lap, abashed at the glare Embry was looking at me with. "What was he doing here without Ness?" Embry demanded.

"He wanted to see me. Nessie's out with the girls."

"I came to apologize for my actions," Embry said.

"Embry, I want to forgive you, but what you said was really harsh. It's going to take more than a haphazard apology," I retorted

"Shelby, I love you, I was just angry at what you did."

"I know Embry, I still love you, but I don't want to hurt anymore," I replied.

He sat down and took my hand. I had tears threatening to overflow my eyes.

I didn't want him to see me crying.

"Shelby, please , I love you!" he said.

"I need some time to think thoroughly."

"You hurt me too, when you did the very thing you promised me you wouldn't," he said, and the look in his eyes was one of a man who had been betrayed by the person he trusted the most in the world. I suddenly realized that I had had his trust; I had held it, and then thrown it away like yesterday's garbage.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, but I don't know what I want right now," I lied. I knew what I wanted, and that was Embry. But those two kisses from Jake also had me trying to figure out whether or not he would be a good choice.

"I am always here if you want to give us another try." He kissed my forehead and left.

I was hurting inside and out, I didn't know what to do. I was crying some more.  
A few minutes later, Dr. Cullen came in with a cup of something for me to drink. I had no choice but to drink it. My parents haven't seen me since the day I was admitted. Nessie was upset with me for doing drugs so she's probably wouldn't come to see me. I wanted my best friend. I knew if I called her, she make Bella tell me that she wasn't there. I needed to make sure that Jake wasn't lying to me about their breakup. But I decided not to. I was so badly hurt, and I hurt the ones that cared about me. I was about to go to the bathroom when my phone rang.

"Hello," I answered.

"Hey Shel, its Jake."

"'Sup?" I asked, oddly pleased to hear his voice.

"I saw Embry as I walked out of your room."

"Yeah, er, he wants to get back together," I said.

"I thought that he wanted time apart?" Jake asked.

"So did I," I said.

"What did he say?"

"Oh, he apologized and told me that he loves me and wants to be together," I answered.

"What did you say?"

"That I needed time to think about it."

"So, does that mean you're going to go out with me?" he asked; I could practically hear his smirk through the phone line.

"Jake, I don't know right now, I need time to think," I answered.

"I have feelings for you."

"Yes, I know, but Nessie is my best friend. I can't do that to her."

"Think about it," he said.

"Well, I have to do some business," I said, really needing to go to the bathroom. I didn't want him to hear me through the phone, so I had to get him to hang up somehow. This was the best way I could think of without totally embarrassing myself.

"Alright, later," he said as he hung up the phone.

I hung up the phone and went to do my business. Like I said before, I have feeling about all of this. I have too many mixed feelings. I felt like do I do now? I was actually crying. I was done doing what I had to do. And headed toward the bed again. I am still in love with Jake's best friend, and now he was my best friend's boyfriend. I have to think about it. I felt like I was about to puke again. I hope I don't because I just starting to feel better. I was just thinking about them. I turned on the TV. when my phone rang again. I answered it.

"Hey!" I answered.

"Hi Shelby, it's me, Embry."

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I just want to apologize again."

"Well you did earlier." I said.

"I also love you," he added.

"I love you, too, but I need some time to think," I said, repeating what I'd already told him.

"One question: is there something going on with Jake and you? I need to know."

"What do you mean?" I asked, instead of answering his question.

"Are you two screwing around behind my back?" _Hm. Well, that question was a little more blunt._

" No way! Why would I do that?" I answered.

"I'm just checking."

"I told you I just need time to think," I replied.

"Well I should go now," he said.

"Okay, bye." I was trying to relax since I couldn't before. And half an hour later Dr. Cullen came in with another cup and told me to drink it, so I would get better.

"How do you feel?" he asked when I'd finished the cup.

"I feel run down," I answered honestly.

"Why?" he asked.

"Oh, it's just personal issues," I reassured him.

"I understand, I'll let you go now, the next doctor will come and check on you later," he said as he walked to the door. Then he was out. I wanted to call Nessie, so I decided to give it a try. I dialed her number; it rang once before someone answered.

"Hello, the Cullen residence!" her dad answered

"Hi, Edward is Nessie there?" I asked.

"Yes, but she doesn't want to talk to you." I had expected this kind of response from Nessie, but I was still a little surprised when Edward spoke those words. He'd always been so nice to me before; it seemed out of character. But, because he was being so truthful, all I could do was accept my fate. I knew that the reason Nessie didn't want to talk to me was of my own making.

"Okay, just tell her I called then," I said sadly.

"Alright, bye," he replied.

Then we hung up the phones. We vampires don't sleep so I tried to relax. I felt so lonely, but at least it gave some time to think about Embry, Nessie, and Jake. How am I going to decide what I want when I can't? I'm starting to have feelings towards Jake. I knew what he did to me, but he did apologize for that. On the other hand, I'm still in love with Embry. I was about to sit up when the next doctor came in.

"Miss MacKenya, how are you doing?" he asked.

"I could be better," I answered.

"I'll be your doctor." he says as he walked towards me. "I'll bring you something in a little while," he went on as he was examining me. He left a few minutes later. _What am I going to do?_ I didn't want to end my friendship with Nessie, but how did I know if they are still together or not! I didn't. About ten minutes later the doctor came back with something for me to drink. So I drank it once again. Then he left. I was relaxing. It was about time I did. No one came in to check on me.

**Second day in the hospital**

Dr. Cullen came by early to see how I was feeling. I was feeling a little better. He came in with some more blood for me to drink. Then he examined me; then he left. As soon as visiting hours started Jake was here first. He brought me something once again. He sat down next to me and kissed me this time I kissed him back eagerly.

"Shelby, I love you!" he whispered.

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything.

"Have you decided?" he asked.

"No, I have to think about it really good." I answered as I pulled him closer to me so I can kiss him again. When we were still kissing when someone was knocking on the door. It was Embry!

"What is this?" he bellowed.

"It's not what it seems," I answered

He didn't say a word, he just ran out of the hospital. Jake pulled away and ran after him. I wish I could run after them but I couldn't. I just wanted to see what's going on. I had a bad feeling about this. So I walked to the bathroom and threw up again. I hope they wouldn't hit each other. After I was done I went back to the bed and lay down. I didn't know what to do? This might really end Embry's and my relationship and their friendship. The tears kept on falling. I started to feel sick again. My life is nightmare! I couldn't stop crying.

All day I was crying because Embry and Jake were at it and I had no way of knowing what was happening outside of the hospital. What have I done? I don't know who I want plus if Jake wasn't telling me the truth and I am going out and Nessie finds out that would end our friendship. This really stinks!


	11. Chapter 11: talking to my mom

_**Chapter Eleven: Talking to my Mom**_

I was getting discharged from the hospital today around noon. I was glad to get out  
because every few hours or so I had to drink stupid animals' blood. It was gross. My mom was coming to pick me up. I couldn't wait to get back. I had a feeling that my parents might decide to move me again, but I hoped not, because I am starting to like it here. Since Kelly left, I know that I'll be able stay clean.

With two hours left until I got to go home, I decided that I would talk to my mom on the way home about my feelings, since I there was no way I could talk to my dad about this. They liked Embry, but I don't know whether they like Jake or not. I just want to hear what my mom has to say. It really stinks that I have too many strange feelings. I hate this! But there's no one else to talk about this. Maybe my mom could explain the feelings that I have. I need to know what I want to do and who I want to be with. But if we move, it will be suck because then I have to start all over again. Someone help me! I silently moaned. I didn't want to say it out loud or someone might think something was wrong. I was sitting on my bed looking at my roommate. She looked awfully good right about now. But I knew that I couldn't kill her. I was about to use the bathroom when the phone rang. I answered it.

"Hello."

"Hey, Shelby, it's me, Jake."

"What's up?" I asked.

"Not much, your mom called me and asked me to pick you up, so I'll be there at noon."

Oh great. Now what am I going to do now? I suppose I could tell her when I get home. But what if my dad was home? Then what do I do?

"Shel, are you still there?"

"Oh, sorry, yes I'm still here!

"I hope that's okay with you, you know, me picking you up."

"I guess it has to be."

"Well than I'll see you in an hour" Jake say

"Okay I'll see you in a little while." I hung up the phone before he had a chance to say another word. I walked as fast as I could without anyone noticing. I felt like I was about to vomit, I believe this. I did. When I came out of the bathroom I decided to call my mom to find out if she will at least be home when I got there. She picked up after the first ring.

"Hello," she answered in her lovely, singsong voice.

"Hey, Mom," I said, trying to sound cheery.

"Oh, hello, dear. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, but listen, Mom, the reason I'm calling is to see if you will be home when I get back."

"No, I'm sorry honey, I won't be. That's why I asked Jake to pick you up."

"Are you able to talk for a few minutes now, then?" I asked.

"Of course. What about?"

"Well it's hard; I have a lot of different feelings," I started.

"I think I can see where this is leading, but just to be sure, continue Shelby," she said.

"Okay, well, you know I was with Embry, but after my…accident…he broke up with me. Then, during my time in the hospital, Jake came to visit me. Like, every day, he's been so sweet, my most regular visitor. Anyway, yesterday while he was here, he kissed me and I kissed him back. I don't know why. I still have feelings for Embry and I know I still love him but once I kissed Jake I began to have feelings for him too. Plus I don't think Nessie won't like it as much and she's my best friend. Mom, I need your help. What should I do?" I said all this very fast, and was moaning by the end.

My mother took a deep breath before speaking. "Well, Shelby, all I can tell you is that if you want to keep yours and Nessie's friendship then you probably shouldn't pursue Jake, and if you still love Embry than try to fix things up," she said.

"Easier said than done," I muttered.

"I know, sweetheart, but you have to try."

"Okay. Thanks, Mom. I love you."

"I love you, too. Did you need anything else?"

"No, that's it."

"Okay well I better go then," she said gently.

"Okay, I'll see you when you get home."

We hung up and I was looking forward to go home and being normal again. My mom didn't say anything about moving so I guess we aren't moving. Good.

Noon time

Jake was here by quarter of twelve and I was so glad to see him. I wasn't sure why though. He was by himself. But before I left to go home, Dr. Cullen made me some more animal blood. I hated it. I drank it fast so I could leave this place. I sat in a wheelchair and Jake wheeled me out. It felt good to be out in the fresh air. I saw his old Rabbit and I told him to wheel me fast so he did. Once we got to his car he helped me in and then he kissed me like last time. Also like last time, I gave in and kissed him back. Then he let go of me and walked to the drivers' side and got in and we were off. I finally felt like I could relax now. Jake took my left hand in his right, holding it securely while he drove. I don't know what I was thinking, but I laid my head on his shoulders and enjoyed the ride. I even allowed my eyes to close a bit; of course, I didn't need sleep, but it was nice to feel safe and secure, at least for the moment.

"Shelby, I'm not taking you right home," he whispered

"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

"You'll see."

I opened my eyes, no longer feeling quite so safe. I was worried about what was about to happen. I wondered if my mom knew what he was doing. There's no way to call her.

"I love you Shelby," he murmured.

"Jake, you're scaring me."

"Shel, I want to be with you."

"Jake I want to go home!"

"I just want a little more time with you."

We were on a dirt road leading to a place I'd never been. Now what is going to happen!


	12. Chapter 12: abandon house

Chapter Twelve: Abandoned House

Jake and I were still driving down the dirt road; I didn't know where I was at. I turn to face Jake to see if he was enjoying this, but I couldn't tell; his face was impassive. I was so scared to be near him. _What am I doing here with him?_

A few minutes later we pulled up to a house that looked like it had been abandoned for a while. He parked the car and cut the engine. He opened his door, got out, then walked over to my side and opened that door, took my hand, and led me to the house. _Why did I let him pick me up?_ My head was pounding now as I tried to process all of the mixed feelings I'd been feeling over the past several days.. Jake opened the door and we were inside; it was dark inside. He still held my hand. From what I could tell, there were three bedrooms and Jake led me to at the fall end. It seemed as if he knew his way around the old house, which struck me as odd. It also felt weird to be with him . I really didn't want to be here. But since I was here now I decided it was better to just do whatever Jake wanted; maybe if I let him have his way, he'd take me home quicker.

In the room there was a little light, but not enough to really illuminate the room. Jake now had me by my waist. He kissed my neck and then moved around to my lips. I didn't know why I kissed him back, but I did.

"Shelby, I love you," he whispered against my mouth.

"I know Jake; you tell me that every time you see me!" I reminded him.

This time he kissed me with passion I can't decide if I want try to go out with him, or try to fix things with Embry! I'm only fifteen! Jake stared at me for a long moment before he turned his gaze to something else. All I was thinking about was Embry. Jake turned to face me, he took his hands and put them on my face. Then he leaned towards me and pressed his big, fleshy lips on mine. This kiss lasted longer and it was deeper.

"I love you, Jake," I whispered.

"Do you mean it that?" he asked.

"I don't know!" I answered honestly.

He leaned towards me and we kissed again. Then he wrapped his arms around me and I did the same. The next thing I knew, I was rubbing his back. He laid me down lightly on the wooden floor, and he lay down beside me. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe and not to think about anything.

"Shel, I really want to be with you!" he whispered.

"I don't know if that's a good idea though, 'cause even if you two are not together, Nessie is my best friend," I eplied.

"Then why did you tell me that you loved me?" he asked.

That was a good question, and I really didn't have an answer for him, so that's what I told him. "I don't know why."

"Well I did tell you how I feel about you," he says said as he was started to climb on top of me. His lips were kissing my neck and moving up to my lips. I wrapped my arms around him then I went under his shirt and start rubbing his back. He wrapped his arm me then I felt his hands under my blouse. He was nibbling on my earlobe. I actually did know why I'm doing this.

Then he whispered in my ear. "Shelby, I really do love you, please trust me and take off your jeans!" he whispered.

_What? _"Not now Jake, I want to try to patch things up with Embry!" I whispered back.

He pressed his lips against mine and we kissed again. I felt tears coming on. I don't know why I wanted to try to work things out with Embry. Maybe because I still love him. He does deserve another try.

"Shel, if things don't work out, I am the one for you," he whispered.

"Yes, but it will be weird since you were Nessie's boyfriend!" I replied as I went to kiss him.

I felt his hands moving down. I also was moving my hands down. That's how far we got before he suddenly stood up and then he helped me up. I was in his arms again and we kissed again. Then we walked to his car, then he helped me in and he got in and we were off to my house.

We were a block from my house when we had our last kiss.

"Jake, please, I do love you, but if things don't work out, I promise I'll think about it," I said.

"I understand," he said sweetly as he kissed me one last time.

Then he restarted the car and drove off to my house. When we arrived at my house my brother—who I haven't seen for years—was there along with Embry and Nessie.

"Who's the boy?" Jake asked as he was parking the car.

"That's my brother Kris, who I haven't seen for a while," I replied as I was getting out of his car.

Embry ran over to me and gave me a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and whispered in his ear, "I would like to try to work things out!"

"Thank you, Shelby for giving me another chance!" he whispered as he leaned forward and gave me a kiss. I did kiss him back but I actually didn't feel anything. Not like Jake. But now I had to see if I could work things out with him. He had his hand under my blouse rubbing my back but I pulled away and grabbed his hand and led them into my house. Kris was the last one in.

I turned to face Jake and smiled. I felt so strange with both of them in the same room. Neither of them said a word to each other after the blowout at the hospital the other day. Embry was a little cold with me for a little while. I didn't think he would let me in again. But he did! I don't know if this going to work out, I didn't know how strong my feeling were about both of them. But at least I'm willing to try.

"Shelby, I love you!" Embry said.

"Everyone is telling me that!" I responded.

"But I'm glad you forgive me!" he said.

"I forgive you, but I didn't forget!" I replied.

The look one his face it look like he was about to cry. But I knew he still didn't trust me fully yet; that would take some time. He had his arms around my waist and he was leaning towards me so he can kiss me.

_What am I going to do now?_

After Nessie and Jake left, Embry and I talked. I did promise him that It wouldn't do that thing I did, I I got that sick I wasn't inclined to do it again. I tried to be comfortable. But I don't know. Embry looked worried and he also had a nervous look. I bet he is was wondering if something going on with Jake and me. _I won't tell him_. Kris went to his room to call his girlfriend. He moved away before we moved here and Embry didn't meet. I looked at Embry. I was afraid to ask him something!

"Shelby what's the matter?" He ask

"Umm, I was wondering if you want to do something later!" I answered.


	13. Chapter 13: Alone with Embry

**Chapter Thirteen: Alone with Embry**

Embry and I decided to see a movie after we had this big talk. I really wasn't  
allowed to go out but since Kris was in charge until our parents got home, he  
told me it was okay. I knew it was just because his girlfriend was flying in tonight and they  
wanted some time alone. I fixed my hair and changed into a nicer outfit.  
Then we left. He did try to come closer then normal but I wasn't sure if I  
wanted to. After what I had been through these last few days, I didn't know what I really  
wanted. I _thought_ what I wanted was to try to patch things up with him.

"Shelby, you seem distant," he said after several minutes of silence.

"Sorry. I don't mean to be," I responded.

"You really didn't want to go see a movie, did you?" he asked.

"Not really, I just wanted to be alone with you," I answered.

"Shelby, you're not being yourself."

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking," I answered

"About?" he asked.

"Nothing major," I lied.

I didn't want to tell him that I was thinking about Jake. All I was thinking about was what happened between Jake and me. Embry stopped the car and looked at me. I just looked at  
the floor. He took my hand and kissed it. Right now I didn't have a clue what I was doing. One minute I want to be with Embry and the next I want to be with Jake.

"Shelby, please tell me the truth!" he begged.

"Truth about what?" I asked, still not meeting his gaze.

"Do you want to be with me?" he asked gently.

"Yes, I would like to try to be with you," I told him.

He leaned over to kiss me. I tried to enjoy it and relax but I couldn't. I _wanted_  
to enjoy it like I used to. Maybe because I have Jake on my mind. I'm afraid  
that once I enjoy it I will come out and say Jake's name. And that would be really bad. Embry would completely pissed at both me and Jake, and I wouldn't be able to blame him. Or hold him responsible for what he might do in that situation. So instead, I tried to enjoy _this_ kiss this time. And I succeeded. A little.

Since we were starting all over again, I didn't want to go too fast. I looked up at him  
and smiled. "Embry, I do love you!" I said, to reassure and convince myself as much as him.

"I know you do!" he responded.

I felt horrible about this whole thing. But I couldn't do anything about it now. I  
didn't know who I loved more, and that was just the tip of the iceberg; what about Nessie? I looked at him again and kissed his cheek. I wanted to wrap my arms around him but instead I put  
my seat down and lay down. Then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

A few minutes later I felt his hand on my leg. I opened my eyes. He saw me and he moved his hand away quickly. I just smiled 'cause I kind of liked it. He smiled at me. I took his hand and put back on my leg. I don't know why I did it. He started to rub my leg. As long as we didn't go further, it would be okay. I leaned over to kiss him. I knew he was happy now. As for me, well, I wasn't sure if I would ever be happy again. Not until I knew which of these two great guys I was meant for, anyway. Like I said before, I wanted to try to work things out with Embry. Then maybe I'd be happy.

He wrapped his other arm around me. I did the same. I kissed him then I moved my lips down to his neck. I know he was enjoying what I'm doing but that's all I'll do. He took his hand and put it on my face and lifted my face to his level so he could kiss me again. We only have a few minutes together before I would have to go home. I was sure my parents went through all my stuff to make sure there were no more drugs. But I knew there weren't; I smoked them all. Frankly, I felt like I could use another one right now, but I didn't want to get sick like I was. I knew Embry wanted more but I didn't want more, not now at least. Maybe later on. He sat back up and started the car and I sat up and I was talking to him. About a lot of things. I did promise him that I wouldn't do it again. He took my hand and kissed it. My mind was reeling again. _This freaking sucks. _

I was so confused about all of this.

When we arrived at my house, Embry parked his car and leaned over to kiss me. I kissed him and got out and headed to the door. Embry couldn't come in, so he left and drove back to his house. I walked in the house and went to my room and I called Jake to see what he was doing.

Billy answered the phone and told me that Jake was out and that he would have him call me when he got in. So I hung up and I decided to call Nessie to talk to her. She answered the phone on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi girl," I enthused, glad that she had answered the phone instead of her mom or dad.

"What's up?" she asked sounding all excited to hear from me.

"Not much, I was out with Embry!"

"Where did you do or go?" she asked.

"No where special just out and talked," I answered

"Is everything okay with you guys?" she asked.

"I guess if you call it that," I replied. "Nessie, the reason I'm calling is to apologize to you for my actions. You know, for the drugs," I trailed off toward the end, ashamed of my behavior.

"I do accept your apology but I don't forget," she responded.

"I understand, Nessie."

"How do I know you won't do it again?" she asked

"I don't want to end up like that again." I walked over to my window.

"I got to go now, my mom wants me over at my grandparents' house. Can I call you when I get back in?" she asked.

"Well I'm not allowed to call anyone for three days," I answered.

"Well then, I'll stop by tomorrow, and we can talk more."

"Okay, bye," I replied.

"Later," she said as she hung up the phone.

I hung up the phone feeling better that I got to talk to her, but she really did want to talk to me at the beginning but after I apologized to her she was a little cool talking to me.

I sat in my room waiting for my phone to ring. I wanted to talk to Jake so bad but I didn't know why. Maybe to hear his voice. I know I shouldn't be on my cell but Kris didn't care as long I was off before my parents got home. His girlfriend was Alice—not Nessie's Aunt Alice, just a girl with the same name. And she seemed pretty cool. Kris doesn't tell us much about her.

Anyway, I was lying on my bed just waiting for a call.

An hour later my parents got home, I went downstairs to greet them with a smile. My mom went over and gave me a hug. My dad just stared at me, before he came over to me.

"I am glad I'm home," I told both of them.

"Yes we are glad to have you home," my mom said for both of them.

After I gave both of them a hug I went to my room and closed my door. I'm glad they didn't say anything about moving. I went to my night stand and sure enough my cell phone was lighting up like crazy. I open it and there was a message. I dialed my number and listen to the message, sure enough it was Jake.


	14. Chapter fourteen : the call

**Chapter Fourteen: The Call**

I opened my cell phone and dialed my own number to access my voicemails, and then I listen to his message.

_"Hey, Shel, it's me Jake, my dad told me to give ya a call, so I am __here__, I don't know if you are busy or not, call me if it's not too late, I love you, bye."_

I deleted the message and lay on my bed just thinking about Jake, I wasn't sure why. My mom came in to check on me. I smiled at her then she left. I wanted to call him, but my mom home and I knew I would be in trouble. I had my phone in my hand, playing with it, opening and closing the flip feature, dancing my fingers over the buttons, flirting with Jake's name on my contacts list. I wanted to hear his voice. I didn't realize how strong my feelings were for Jake.

So I did what I wasn't allowed to do. I dialed his number.

This time he answered.

"Hey Jake, it's me Shelby," I said.

"Hey Shel, what's up?" he asked with an excited air to his voice.

"Not much how about you?" I answered, feeling as excited as he sounded.

"Eh, same shit different day. So why did you call me?"

"I wanted to hear your voice," I replied shyly. "And I was wondering what you're doing tonight."

"Nothing why?" he asked.

"I wanted to know if you want to come over!" I blurted out. _Crap, did I just invite a boy over to my house while I'm supposed to be grounded? I am going to be in such deep trouble!_

"You really want me to come over?" he asked.

"Yeah I do," I responded, suddenly no longer caring whether or not I got in trouble. I had to see him, and I would face the consequences later. I was sure they would be well worth it, no matter what they were. Anything's worth seeing the guy you love, right? Well, one of the guys you love…

"Okay I'll be over in few minutes," he said.

"Okay, see ya soon." I replied as I hung up the phone.

_What did I get myself into__?__ I want to work things out with Embry. Great! What he doesn't know won't hurt him._ I opened my window so Jake could climb through when he got here. Coming through the front door wouldn't be an option tonight. I was lying on my bed just waiting for him to arrive.

About five minutes later Jake came through the window of my room.

"I was just thinking about you when you called," he said as he walked over to my bed and lay down beside me with his hand on my leg. He slowly began moving it farther and farther up my pants leg, getting ever closer to exactly where I wanted him to be. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I press my lips to his. He pressed harder. I didn't know what I was doing. I pulled away from him and then looked into his big brown eyes. That's why I am falling in love with him. That look right there, the care and love and compassion that I saw penetrating my very soul through his eyes. And I felt like I could see straight to his soul, too.

Did I still want to try to work things out with Embry? I thought so, but being here with Jake, I was suddenly unsure. Funny, every time I was around Jake I began to question my commitment to Embry. Before I could give Embry a second thought, Jake was whispering into my hair.

"Shelby, I love you!"

"I love you too," I whispered back as I got up and started to take my shirt off.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am!" I answered as I undid my bra.

Jake rose from my bed and pulled his tee shirt up over his head, tossing it into a corner; then he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, I also wrapped my arms around him.

I was shaking with a combination of fear and anticipation, feeling the skin-on-skin contact of our bare chests. I moved my arms down to his jeans so I could undo his buttons. Very slowly, very carefully, I pushed his button through its buttonhole and lowered his zipper. When his pants were open, I gasped at the sight there for me. I knew that this was what I wanted, though, so I continued with my shaky hands, starting to push his jeans down over his hips. "Just a second," he said before they could fall. He reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small, square foil packet and handed it to me. When I realized what he had handed me, I felt a human reaction, one that I knew I couldn't possibly be having. I felt like I was blushing, though of course I wasn't actually. My scalp was tingling just like it would have had I been human, though. Once the slight embarrassment passed, I was suddenly really excited. We were really going to do this! I pushed my fingers into the sides of his jeans and boxers all the way down to the floor where they pooled around his feet. He slowly stepped out of them, and then I felt his hands moving down to my jeans to return the favor. "Put it on me," he whispered huskily into my ear. I opened the condom wrapper and pulled the thin latex sheath out of the packet, setting it on my night table for easy retrieval and disposal when we were done.

"I don't really know how," I whispered, embarrassed again. This was going to be my first time, and I had no experience with boys or sex or condoms.

"It's okay, Shelby, give it me, I'll show you how. Then next time, you can do it." I handed him the condom and watched with interest as he placed it over the head of his penis and rolled it slowly down himself, groaning in pleasure as he did.

The next thing I knew we were back on my bed. Yeah you heard me right, _on my bed_. I was lying on my back and Jake was hovering over me, all of his weight resting on his forearms which were on either side of my head. I felt him begin to tease my entrance, causing me to whimper. And then he went inside of me. And it felt good. I know I shouldn't have allowed this to happen, but I wanted to. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he began to move within me.


	15. Chapter fiffteen: Then Morning After

**Chapter Fifteen: The Morning After**

Jake lay beside me kissing my neck. I still had my arms around him. I also couldn't believe that after what I just did with Jake, I still wanted to work things out with Embry. Embry and I would never have done this. Yes, I know I'm falling deeper in love with Jake and I don't know if he and Nessie are still together or not. What am I going to do now?

"Shelby, I'm sorry to do this now to you?" he whispered.

I just look at him with a puzzled look. "What?" I asked.

"I don't want you to get in trouble so I'm going to sneak out before dawn," he answered as he kissed my neck one last time before he rose from my bed. I sat up ogling him unashamedly. He quickly got dress and climbed out of my window, when he was fully out, I closed my window. Then I went back to my bed and relaxed. I'm risking my life, relationship, and my friendship with Nessie. The only thing that I could do was to ask her if they are together when I see her tomorrow. _And what about Embry__?_ I came to a decision, I'm not telling him anything. I'll try to work things out with him. I know things take a while to get better and I wanted things the way were, I really did, but on the other hand I'm falling in love with his best friend.

The best thing—the most responsible thing—I could do was to end it with Embry and that thought made me cry.

The rest of my time alone I was in deep thought about what I really wanted to do. Did I really want to work things out with Embry? Did I want to try to start a relationship with Jake? If I chose Jake, would things be okay right away, or would we have to sneak around? I can't decide what to do! This sucks.

I went down stairs to get something to drink. After I got something to drink and it's not what you think it is, it alcohol, you heard me alcohol. Then I went outside to use some other drugs. I hid them, I know that I told them that I won't do it but I did. Who will know? So after that I went back in and went to my room and relax until it was time for Bella and Alice to come over for mine and Nessie's homeschooling lessons.

In the morning, I went into the shower to freshen up. Then I went to get dressed and downstairs to wait for them. I put on the TV until they arrived. It wasn't that long until they got to my house. I turned off the TV and went to open the door and there all three were standing. Bella hugged me then Nessie and Alice came in.

"Ness I need to talk to you after we are done with this?" I said quietly, hoping her mother and aunt wouldn't hear my request.

"Sure I can stay over a little after," she responded.

I just hope she will understand. If it doesn't work out, that will end our friendship.

"Come on girls," Bella called.

"We're coming," Ness called.

We both walked into the room where Bella and Alice were sitting. We sat down at the table and Bella started. I couldn't concentrate on anything because I was thinking about _him_. Actually about what happened last night. How I missed those big brown eyes and husky body. My body was reacting to my thoughts, and I was starting to get a little uncomfortable. I was craving his touch, and wondered when I'd get the pleasure of feeling him like that again.

But tonight I am going to be with Embry and I got to act like nothing happen.

"Shelby, did you hear what I was talking about?" Bella asked.

"Sorry, no. I was a little distracted," I replied.

"Did you do your assignment?" she repeated.

"No I forgot to."

"Shelby, don't do it again, what's gotten into you?" Nessie chastised me.

_Jake's gotten into me_, I thought with a tiny smirk. But what I said was, "I don't know."

I felt bad about lying to her. So I didn't think about him again until class was over even then I had to so Nessie and I could talk. But I had a bad feeling about it.

After class Nessie and I went out back on my porch and talked. I hoped she wouldn't be pissed off.

"Shelby what's up?" she asked.

_How to begin?_

As I was about to say something my phone rang so I got up and answered it. You won't guess who it was. Jake!

"Hello," I answered, trying to hide the excitement I felt over getting to talk to him; I wouldn't know how to proceed until I found out what was going on between him and Nessie.

"Hey, babes, is it okay if I come over?" he asked.

"Uh, no, I don't want any, thanks." I hoped he'd understand what I was doing.

"Oh, you're not alone are you?" Thank goodness he got what I was doing.

"That's right, I'm not interested right now. Maybe you could call back in a couple of hours and talk to my parents."

"I got you, babe. I'll try you later. Love you."

"Thank you," I said, closing my phone.

I turn to the door and I saw Nessie standing there. I had to say something like that so she wouldn't know who was on the phone.

I hung up the phone and started to walk over to Nessie.

"Who was it?" she asked.

"Stupid phone solicitor," I grumbled, trying to hide the smile on face from having heard Jake's voice.

I felt bad about lying to her, but what else could I say?


	16. Chapter sixteen: the talk

**An authors notes: **

**I want to thank wendy for being an amazing Betareaders and working with me on this.**

**wendy if ya get this chapter thanks so much for your felp**

**Chapter Sixteen: The Talk **

Nessie and I went out to my back yard and sat on the bench. I was afraid to look at her. We sat there in silence for about a minute or two before I figured that I'd better say something.

But Nessie beat me to it. "Shelby what's the matter?" she asked.

"Well, this might be a shocker to you," I began nervously.

"Just spit it out," she said.

"Are you and Jake still together?" I asked, keeping my eyes trained on the ground to avoid meeting her gaze.

"I don't know how to answer you Shel," she answered miserably.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"We had a fight, then without saying a word, he ran out and slammed the door!" she answered

"What was your fight about?" I asked, afraid of what the answer might be.

"I think he's cheating on me."

I cursed internally. _Did she know for sure? Should I tell her? _"Did he tell you that?" I asked tentatively, not sure I really wanted her to answer that particular question.

"No, but when I want to be around him or hang out with him, he always says 'maybe later,'" she answered.

I didn't want to tell her it was me cuz then she would kick my butt for sure. _I hope she doesn't find out it was me. _

"So to answer your question, I don't know if we are gonna stay together," Nessie answered, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I just sat there looking at the ground. She stood up and started pacing back and forth. I felt bad about Nessie and Jake, but I'm falling in love with him, too. I knew for a fact that Nessie loved him. So now what?

"If and when I find out who it is I'll kick both their asses," she said suddenly and loudly, causing me to wince.

_Please don't find out, please don't find out. _I chanted it silently in my head like a mantra. I really want to be with _both_ of them, Jake and Embry. _How could I be so selfish?_ I gave her a hug even though I'm having sex with her boyfriend. Just the thought made me shiver. She was sobbing a tearless one.

"Shelby, you my best friend," she sobbed in my ear.

_I won't be when you find out what I've done. _"Nessie, you're my best friend too!"

"Hey girls, what's going on here?" a familiar voice called.

We pulled apart to see Embry standing there.

"How long have you been there?" I asked.

"Long enough to hear you say Nessie is your best friend," he answered.

I walked over him and give him a hug. He kissed me on the cheek. I can tell it's not the same. It probably won't be ever again. I can't tell him that I did some other form of drug or else he really won't trust me.

"Have you seen Jake?" Ness asked.

"No I haven't. He's been acting really strange."

"See what I'm saying?" she asked me, gesturing around the air as if Embry had just proven her point. Which I guess he had. Kind of.

I would ask her to stay over but I wasn't sure whether or not that was a good idea.

"She thinks Jake's screwing someone else," I told Embry. He didn't say a word. I tried to kiss him. The way we used to.

"Do you want me to talk to him for you?" he asked.

"If he will talk," she answered.

I know he won't so I didn't say a word. Even one slip and they would suspect me, and that was the last thing I needed.

"I came over to see if you want to go somewhere," he said to me, turning away from Nessie.

"I'm still grounded," I answered regretfully.

"Well is it just you and Kris? Can't you sneak out for a little while?" he asked.

"No, my mom will be home soon."

"Then why is Nessie here?" he asked.

"My mom told me that she was okay."

"I guess I'd better go then," he says as he kissed me again. Then he left. Nessie stayed a little longer just so she wasn't alone.

_Why did I do this? _

_Maybe cause you love him_, the little voice in my head answered_. _

"Nessie come on time to go," Bella called.

We hugged and I walked with her. _Close one_. I was a little relieved that she left; once she was gone, I went to my room and called Jake. He answered right away. I was so glad.

"Hello, Jake," I said.

"Hey, babe, so glad that you called."

"I miss you!"

"I do too. Well, I miss you, I mean, not I miss myself." He laughed at his own humor.

"What are you doing tonight?" I asked.

"Nothing. Why, do you want me to come over again?" he asked.

"I'd love that!" I gushed.

"Okay, great. I'll be over shortly, I love you!" He said.

"Okay, I love you too, see you soon," I responded.

I hung up the phone to get ready for Jake. I wanted to do a drug before he got here but I decided not to. Instead, I drank some booze.


	17. Chapter seventeen: jakes over again

Chapter Seventeen: Jake's Over Again

I got in the shower to freshen up so I didn't smell when Jake got here. I didn't know why I just invited him over. _Well probably because I miss him_. I decided that it'd be better to just talk to him before we do anything. Then again, maybe not; I didn't want to start a fight with him, so I guess I won't.

What should I do? I don't want to end _either_ relationship. I am so confused about this whole Embry and Jacob thing! My life is becoming a real night mare!

After my shower, I got dressed in a nice outfit and waited for Jake to arrive. I just couldn't resist him; he's not Embry but I love them both. _I can't decide which one more_.

I don't have underwear on. It's for a reason. _He's_ coming over.

About thirty minutes later he came through my window. As soon as he was in I walked quickly over to him and planted the most passionate kiss ever.

"I was so glad that you asked me to come over," he said.

"I am glad that you _did_ come over," I replied as I wrapped my arms around him. He wrapped his arms around me in return. I nibbled on his ear lobe try to turn him on. It worked and I was glad. _What am I doing here with Jacob Black_? I just realized I know what I am doing; I'm screwing him. I looked at his hot body. I was just about to jump on him. I couldn't help myself. He was like my own personal angel.

I helped him take off his shirt and he helped me too. After we were bare-chested I stepped closer to him. Skin on skin contact felt even better. He lifted me from the floor so that my head was level with his so we could kiss. Every time we kissed I just couldn't think coherently. The next thing I know, my feet had found purchase on the carpet of my bedroom floor again and I pushed him on my bed and I started to unbutton his jeans once again. Then I pulled off his jeans. Then he threw me on the bed then he unbuttoned my jeans and he pulled off my jeans. Before we started to make love he pulled out a condom and he handed it over to me. I opened it up and did what he showed me what to do. I pulled it over the head of his penis. Then I went to lay down on my bed he crawled on the top of me with weight all on his forearms. Man, I'm so addicted to him.

Like he did last time he teased my entrance before pushing himself inside of me. I wrapped both arms and legs around him. He moved within me. I started to moan then he moved a little faster. Oh my god, it felt amazing.

As we did it I thought briefly about Embry and whether I wanted to work it out. I was just worried that I would get caught having sex with Jake, but then I thought, _who cares? I'm enjoying myself._ All I was thinking about what my life would be like if Jake and I hooked up.

Once we were done Jake laid besides me still holding me. I nibbled on his ear lobe. I had my arm around him also. This time he didn't leave as fast as he did last time.

"Shelby , I love you!" he whispered.

"I love you too, Jake!" I whispered back.

I was staring right into his big brown eyes. The eyes that I love! Eventually, we had to get dressed. Then we sat up and were kissing. I pulled away from him. I didn't want to tell him but I had no choice.

"Jake I think we need to stay low for a while," I said.

"I know but it kind of sucks," he replied.

I didn't want to stop seeing him but I knew it was best, for now at least. We kissed some more then he rose from my bed and walked to my window.

Before he left he told me again that he loved me and then he took off. I was upset to end it for a while. But I did promise Embry that I would give things another chance. But I didn't want Nessie suspicious about Jake and me. I knew if she caught us she would kick our asses and wouldn't want anything more to do with me. So I think it was the best thing for us. Since no one was home, guess what I did? I did it again; used drugs. I felt bad about doing it, but I just couldn't stop thinking about Jake. Before I even tried to my cell phone rang. I was afraid to answer it. So I didn't; I let my voicemail get it. I was so depressed right now. I don't know what I really want. Sure enough my voicemail pick it up. After a few minutes later I flip my cell phone open and dialed my number and listen to my message. It was Embry.

"Hey, baby, how are you? What was the matter earlier? Why didn't you want to hang out with me, did I do something wrong? I hope you're not mad at me, I love you with all of my heart, please call me, bye my love!"

I flipped my phone closed and started to cry. _Why is he second guessing our relationship?_ I didn't want to make him wait for my call, so I flipped open my cell phone and dialed his number. It rang twice before he answered the phone.

"Hey sweetie!" I said.

"Hey babe!" he replied.

"Sorry about earlier!" I said, feeling guilty.

"It's fine; is everything okay?"

"Yeah I just had something to do," I said as I looked out of my window. _More like some_one_ to do, _an annoying voice chirped in my ear.

I'm back to lying again. Gosh! I'm a bad person.

"Hon, can we go somewhere and be alone so we can talk?" he asked.

"Yeah, tonight was my last day of being grounded," I answered.

"Okay great," he said enthusiastically.

"Great," I repeated, trying to match his excitement. I wasn't sure how close I got.

"Love you!" he said.

"Love you too!" I replied. But it didn't feel the same as when I told Jake.

"Later!" he said.

"Bye!" I responded.

I hung up the phone and did the drug to make me relax before my parents got home.

_What am I going to do now? I don't know. I love both of them!_


	18. Chapter eightteen : Alone with Embry

_**Chapter Eighteen: Alone with Embry**_

**Heartless lyrics  
**

_In the night I hear him talk coldest story ever told  
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul  
To a woman so heartless  
How could you be so heartless?  
Oh, how could you be so heartless?_

How could you be so cold as the winter wind when it breeze, yo?  
Just remember that you talkin' to me though  
You need to watch the way you talkin' to me, you know

I mean after all the things that we been through  
I mean after all the things we got into  
And yo, I know there are some things that you ain't told me  
And yo, I did some things, but that's the old me

And now you wanna give me back and you gon' show me  
So you walk around like you don't know me  
You got a new friend, well, I got homies  
But in the end it's still so lonely

In the night I hear him talk the coldest story ever told  
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul  
To a woman so heartless  
How could you be so heartless?  
Oh, how could you be so heartless?

How could you be so Dr. Evil?  
You're bringing out a side of me that I don't know  
I decided we weren't gon' speak so  
Why were you at 3 a.m. on the phone?

Why does she be so mad at me for?  
Homey, I don't know she's hot and cold  
I won't stop, I won't mess my groove up  
'Cause I already know how this thing go

You run and tell your friends that you're leavin' me  
They say that they don't see what you see in me  
You wait a couple months then you gon' see  
You'll never find nobody better than me

'Cause in the night I hear him talk the coldest story ever told  
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul  
To a woman so heartless  
How could you be so heartless?  
Oh, how could you be so heartless?

Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk  
Baby let's just knock it off  
They don't know what we've been through  
They don't know 'bout me and you

So I got something new to see  
And you just gon' keep hatin' me  
And we just gon' be enemies

I know you can't believe  
I could just leave it wrong  
And you can't make it right  
I'm gon' take off tonight into the night

In the night I hear him talk the coldest story ever told  
Somewhere far and far and far he lost his soul  
To a woman so heartless  
Oh, how could you be so heartless?  
Oh, how could you be so heartless?

Oh, 'cause in the night I hear him talk the coldest story ever told  
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul  
To a woman so heartless

I promised Embry that I would go out with him or hang out with him even thought I didn't feel like it because I had Jake on my mind. I was getting ready to go out when my cell phone rang, I had a feeling I knew who it was. _Jake_, I thought. I looked at my caller ID and sure enough it was Jake, but I let it ring. I really couldn't talk him right now, I was getting ready to see Embry. Even so, I wouldn't know what to tell him anyway; I didn't know what I wanted. Embry would be here soon. I didn't have time to talk. Plus what if Embry was in the room while I was on with Jake? How would that look? I checked my phone for messages but there weren't any. Now I felt bad for not answering it.

I went to brush my hair and went downstairs to wait for Embry to pick me up. I sat down on you deck and waited for Embry to get me. I was going to open my phone when it rang again I looked at it and sure enough it was Jake again so I decided to answer it this time. I sighed before I answered.

"Hello," I said.

"Hey babe."

"What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just miss you!" he answered.

"I miss you too, but we need to stay low for a while, remember?" I reminded him.

"I needed to hear you voice!"

"I miss you too but this is kind of a bad time."

"Well, can I come over later?"

"Jake, look, I _do_ want to see you but like I said before, we need to stay low for a while." I answered, feeling like crap. What else was I suppose to say? 'Yes come over'? I wish!

"I truly understand Shel, but I need to hold you!" he said.

"How about I call you when I get home?" I compromised.

"Okay please do!"

" I promise," I responded.

"Thanks. I'll let you go now, have fun with Embry," he said as he hung up his cell phone .

_What did I just do? Am I stupid or what?_ I wanted to work things out with Embry. And the other hand I wanted to be with Jake , so now what? He should be here soon. _I hope._ Sure enough he pulled up to the curb just then. Good thing I just hung up with Jake.

He walked towards me and I smiled at him. I got up and walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He just kissed me and pulled away quickly. I didn't know what was wrong with him. He took my hand and led me to his car and opened the door and I got in and he walked over to the drivers' side and got in and we were off to god knows where. He didn't even say a word. I was a little frightened; he'd never acted like this before. All I was thinking is that I wanted to jump out of his car. What had gotten into him? I wanted to ask him but was afraid that he'd be pissed at me. I also wanted to hold his hand. He didn't even look at me. I put my hand on his thigh but he removed it. I turned to face him.

"What is your damn problem?" I asked angrily.

"What do you mean?" he

"Why are you so pissed off?"

"I'm not!"

"You could've fool me!"

"Nothing, I swear !" he responded as he took my hand and placed it back on his thigh. I wanted to take it off. But then he would know something was bothering me. So I left it there. I did peck him on the cheek. He didn't look at me or smile. Do I think he knows I'm screwing his best friend, I don't know.

"We are almost there!" he said.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Somewhere I want to take you," he answered.

I just looked at him. Did I want to know where we are going, or didn't I? Nah, I didn't; I wanted to be surprised. _Right, but what if I didn't want to be there_? You're thinking I'm crazy; maybe you're right. Well I think I am not. I don't know what I want.

"We are here!" he said.

"This is it?" I asked.

" I had a feeling you were going to say that. Come on, let's go!" he said.

I unbelted my seat belt and open the door and waited for him to get out. As soon as he got out I walked over to him and put my arm around him and we walked inside of Sam's house and watched TV. We were waiting for Emily. So we could watch a movie together. I was going to sit on his lap but he pushed me over. I still wasn't happy on how he was treating me. I didn't deserve it. I just felt like crying. But I held it in.

About five minutes later she came home. Sam was happy to see Emily. She was also happy to be home she ran into his arms. They kissed and said 'I love you' and sat down and began to watch a movie. I wasn't in a mood to watch a movie. I moved closer to Embry; he let me move closer to him. I planted a passionate kiss on his mouth. It felt good but not as good as Jake's. I whispered to him that I wanted to have time alone with him. He agreed and we went in to a room , I think he thought we will just talk . He's wrong. I closed the door and locked it.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What does it look like?" I asked, not answering his question.

"I don't think this is such a good idea!" he said.

"Well, I do!" I replied as I walked closer to him as I took off his shirt.


	19. Chapter Nineteen: broken Promises

___**chapter 19 : Broken Promises**_

I let my hands fall down to Embry's jeans; they were now at his button fly. I was kissing his chest while my shaky hands tried to push each button through its hole. Before I'd had much success, however, I felt his hands push mine away. He sat straight up and refastened his jeans, scooting away from me at the same time so that I wouldn't be able to kiss him. He was getting his shirt back on. I turn away from him so he couldn't see me crying. I didn't want him to see me crying. _Or maybe I should let him see me crying. _I didn't know. I was so confused and hurt. The confusion came from not knowing what—who—I wanted. The hurt came from his rejection of me just now. And that just confused me more. If there was a chance that I didn't even want him back, why should I care if he rejected me?

"What are you doing, Shelby?" he asked. "Come here and sit and talk."

I couldn't face him, though. I was shocked. I pulled my shirt on as fast as I could and ran out of the room crying. I hurried over to Emily and asked her to drive me home. I didn't look back to see his face as Emily and I left.

The whole way home, I didn't talk to Emily; all I did was cry. _Why was he being this way to me? What did I do?_ I hadn't done anything, except try to be with him. I got out of Em's car and ran to the door and unlocked it and walked in and slammed the door behind me, turning the lock on the knob. I ran to my room and locked that door, too, before throwing myself onto my bed to cry. _What's the matter with him? I thought he wanted to go further! We have been together since I moved here. __He said_ _he loved me?_ The thoughts were racing through my brain faster than I could make sense of them. And now I'm having second thoughts about him.

Jake told me to call him but I wasn't in a good mood right now. I'd call him later.

I got up and went to have my secret stash of coke. I was about to do a line when my cell phone rang. I grabbed it and looked on the caller ID; it was Nessie so I answered it.

"Hey Shel!" she said.

"Hi!" I responded, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"Are you okay?" she asked. _Apparently I failed._

"I'm fine!" I answered. I was getting pissed off. What was with the third degree?

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. Why did you call?" I asked. I knew I was being rude, but I was so upset that I didn't really care. I'd feel better once I didn't have to think anymore.

"Just to see how you doing!" she answered, sounding afraid from my tone of voice.

"I am fine!" I reassured her, trying to soften my tone.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll go then."

"Thanks for checking on me."

She hung up before I could say bye. What a friend! Thank god, now I could do my line. I know I'm going to be in trouble. _Who cares?_ After I did my line of coke I went downstairs to the kitchen and got a small glass and some Patron and poured half of it into the glass and I drank it. _No one will know_.

_Wow I feel high as a kite. Never felt this high before._ I was almost to the sofa when I fell to the floor. I reached for my back pocket to get more coke. But it wasn't there. _Damn it! It's up in my room! _I shouldn't do it anymore. I laid my head down. Then my cell phone rang again. Good thing I had it in my front pocket. I looked at the caller ID; it was Embry and I didn't want to talk to him now, so I let it ring. I didn't want to talk to him. Not now. I'm sure my voice mail will pick it up.

I was able to crawl upstairs to my room. You may think I'm crazy but I am not. I reach my room and got some needles. And I shot up, which I knew I shouldn't have. Now I was very high now. I figured I will call Jake now. I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up which he did on the second ring. I was glad.

"hey J-j-jake," I stuttered.

"Shelby, are you okay?" he asked.

"Ugh, I'm fine. I just had a bad time with Embry," I answered.

"What happened?" he asked.

"C-c-can y-y-you c-c-come o-o-o-over?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course."

"See you soon," I said.

We both hung up. I was now lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. The next thing I knew, I felt someone's arms around my neck; even in my strung-out state, I knew it was Jake. He carried me to the sofa. I was still out. I felt him shaking me. I had never been this high.

"Shelby!" he said.

"Huh? What?" I asked, starting to come out of my haze.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes. What happened?"

"I came over and when no one came to the door I found a key and came in and I saw you passed out!" he said.

"What? Passed out?" I asked. Funny, I didn't remember passing out.

"Yeah passed out, were you using and drinking?" he asked.

"No, I passed out because of all the stress. I already told you, I had a bad time with Embry!"

"Damn it, Shelby! Don't lie to me! I know that's not the reason you were unconscious when I got here." He was angry at first, but his tone had taken on a more loving quality by the end of his short tirade.

I didn't look at him. Because I knew he was right; I did lie to him. Plus my eyes were probably red. I was afraid of him.

"Shelby look at me!" he snapped.

"Fine! Yes, I did drugs. I was depressed so I figured that I would try to make myself feel better."

"You have to stop, Shelby. You're going to kill yourself, and that's really saying something for a vampire. This is the last time I can keep your secret. I'll promise not to tell this time, but you have to promise me that you won't do this crap again!"

"Yes I do!"

I sat up slowly to be at his level. Once I sat up I pulled Jake close to me so I would be able to kiss him. We shared the most passionate kiss we had ever shared. I'm falling head over heels for him. I wrapped my arms around him. He also wrapped his arms around me. I let my hands move to the hem of his shirt and pulled it off of his body. I felt his hand under my shirt then he pulled of my shirt over my head. I got up and sat on his lap. I closed my eyes; I felt his hands massaging my breasts. I was enjoying this. I let him do this for a while. Then it was my turn to return favor. A little while later I turn to face him. I push him down on the sofa. Then I kissed him on his lips before moving down to his neck for awhile. Then I moved down to his chest I kissed his nipples then I sucked and licked them then I licked his other part of his chest.

When we are done fooling around we both put our shirts on and enjoyed each other's company for awhile, until he had to meet Sam, and while I wished I could go I knew I couldn't; it's not a good idea, like I said before we are trying to stay low for a while.. All I wish that I could make my mind up but it's too hard. He pushed me to the side of him. And he kissed me once more before he rose from the sofa.

"Shelby I got to go a little earlier before anyone gets suspicious of what's going on, I love you!" he said.

"Yeah, good idea, we don't want that to happen, I love you too!" I responded.

I got up and walked Jake to the door; before I open the door we kissed goodbye. He walked out and I watched him walk away. When I didn't see him anymore I closed the door and locked it then I walked to my room. I walked in and closed the door and locked it. I went to find a little baggy and open it and make a line. I know I promise him I wouldn't but I need it more then ever right now. So I put it up to my nose and sniffed it. That's when I knew I should have stopped!


	20. Chapter twenty : help and guideness

_chapter 20:**  
**It read:**  
**__Shel,**  
**I know you've had problems in the past, but i really do love you.**  
**I want to help you get over your issues, and be with you regardless.**  
**wecan do this together_

Jake,**  
**thanks for much for you help, i know we can both get this taken care of. I love you more

A few minutes later after I sent Jake that text he came over as fast as he could, without knocking on the door. I was on the sofa when he came in. He sat down on the sofa and looked me in the eyes and I knew he seemed worried about me. I took his hand and kissed it. He got up and helped me up and he led me to my room, I was just wondering why he was not talking to me when we find our way to my room. Once we got up to my room, I closed the door but I didn't lock it. Then I sat down at my desk while Jake sat down on my bed. I was so afraid that he didn't like I was coming down. But it was time for me to quit everything.

"Shelby, I came here because I got the text, that you wrote me saying that we can do this together, meaning quitting your habits, that's why I'm here; to support you and help you in your time of need. I don't want to see you like that ever again, and I know the others don't to either, so I am here to be your help. Plus I love you," he said.

"Thanks Jake, for your guidance and your help, and with your support I know I can do this, because I love you too," I replied as I got up and walked over to him.

"We need to talk about what to do in our relationship, the next step," Jake said.

I looked at him with a confused look like _what_? But he took my hand and held it. He looked me in the eyes and smiled. I couldn't help but to smile back.

"Do we want to move on and see each other, or just keep it quiet and don't let any of them find out?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Shelby, it's easy enough to understand," he answered.

"Well it's not, though. I love you and him," I said.

"You have to choose Embry or me, it's not fair to both of us!" Jake said.

"I know. You've told me this before. When I see him tomorrow I'll tell him," I replied.

"Thank you," he said.

I just wanted to kiss him but I know if I did it would lead to something more. And I don't need it, not now at least. That wouldn't be good now. I got up and walked over to my window. After I got up Jake walked over to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. I leaned my head back on his shoulder trying to relax and not think about the next day. I hate hurting people's feelings, but I have to do what was best so no one gets hurt even more than they already will. I don't want that to happen. Now that I've finally decided who I want to be with I needed to stick with my choice. Jake turned me around and I looked up at him.

"Shelby, from the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted to be with you," he said.

"At first I was so afraid of you for what you did to me," I responded.

"Well that's the past, I want to be with you, but you have to promise me that you will stop using and don't go back, or I won't be able to be with you," he said.

"Jake, that was my last time, I wasn't really thinking and I was alone; I am afraid to be alone, that was the reason why I drink and use," I replied, knowing that that wasn't a valid excuse. It was the truth, though.

"We can get through this together," he said.

"Thanks so much, it would mean a lot to me, and now that I am gonna be with you, I know I can pull through this," I responded.

"That's my girl, I know you can do this," he said.

I was glad he was willing to help me thought this, I wouldn't be able to do this all by myself. I was willing to put all of my old habits away. I really wanted to be with him and I was willing to do anything to be with him, even break up with Embry. I dated someone before I moved here but he broke up with me. I was so alone. That's when I met Kelly and fell into her crowd. But Embry told her off and ever since then, all we did was talk and email each other. But I am going to stay clean and don't go back to drugs. I don't want to lose anyone else.

"Shelby, look at me, If I catch you going back on your word, I will not talk you anymore and I will break up**  
**with you," he said.

"Jake look, I promise I won't do that again, I don't want to end up dead, even though I know vampires don't die," I replied.

"Thanks. I am glad we agree on that, " he said as he was playing with a strand of my hair.

I know how Jake feels when he saw me lying on the floor. I know that he loves me and I love him;**  
**we were meant for each other. I wrapped my arms around him. You don't know how how good it felt to be held; let me tell you, it was amazing. We pulled apart then we went to find my two little baggies and throw them into the toilet so I won't be doing them. And trust me and believe me, I don't want to. That was my last time. I do promise myself I _will _be strong about doing this. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Jake's big cheeks and I stood still so I could be held. I just wanted to be held. Now I am so happy that I got what I really wanted, and that was Jake. This might ruin my friendship with Nessie but I know eventually we will talk and be friends again.

"Baby, I am so proud of you for doing this and choosing me over Embry," he said sounding greedy.

"Please don't sound so greedy. I am glad I did too, Embry would eventually break up with me," I replied

"I don't think he would break up with you, I know him; he's not the kind of guy that would hurt anyone," he said as he kissed my forehead.

I wanted to take of his shirt but I know it wasn't a good time since this was just talking about me quiting and deciding on who I want to be with . And I finally decided to choose so I won't have to sneak around with him and risk getting caught. I know that won't be good to get caught and everyone not talking to each other. But the feelings are there for Jake. My feelings for Embry had gone away mostly after what happen at Sam and Emily's house. I knew it wasn't mean to be now. I want to move forward in our relationship. I knew Jake was wrong about him because he hurt me that night and that why I called him. So I now moved on to his best friend, yes you heard me, his best friend. Jake and I will be together for quite awhile, I know that. I looked up at him with a big smile on my face .

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, baby," he whispered back the same sentiment.

Once in a while Embry would say that to make me feel good. So now I know Jake would repeat it anytime I say it to him. And I also know he'll mean it too. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him so tight. I know I won't be able to hurt him. He hugged me tight since he couldn't break anything in my body since I am a vampire. He was so caring and supportive of me not like Embry. I know I have to stop saying his name. I promise once this is over I will stop. He's on my mind right now since I haven't told him yet. When tomorrow comes I will. That I owe to myself to break the news. And to him. I really don't like to, but since I'm the one that has to, I will. After we pulled away from each other, we went downstairs to watch TV and keep each other company before he has to leave. He and Sam were going out patrolling together, some other kind of creature is out here that what I heard from someone, I think it was Sam telling Emily that night but I could be wrong.

After Jake left, I decided to call Emily to see if she wants to hang out or see if Leah wants to hang out for a while until I figure what to tell Embry. I had no clue what to say without hurting him more than I will anyway. I am so scared that he will flip out and do something. I walked over to my dresser and grabbed my cell phone and dialed Emily's number. I just hope she answers soon. I was pacing back and forth for a while. No one answered the phone, and I don't think she would have went with them. i was getting a little worried. So I hung up the phone and dialed Leah's number. Which she picked up after the second ring. But I really wanted her to come over not me going over to her house. I am pretty sure that Nessie's grand pop will be over there.

"Hello, Leah, " I say.

**"**Hey Shelby, what's up?" She asked.

**"**OH I was wondering if you would like to come over here," I answered.

**"**I will have to see if my mom will let me since we met be going over to Charlie's for dinner," Leah said as she was looking at Seth.

**"**Well could you find out, I don't want to be alone right now," I responded.

**"**Well can you hold on, I will go ask," she said as she laid the phone down and went to ask Sue.

I waited for a few minutes before she came back on the phone.

"Hey, your still there Shelby," She ask.

**"**Yeah, I am still here," I answered.

**"**My mom, said I can only for a little while," she said.

**"**Okay, thanks," I replied

**"**I'll be over in a few minutes," she said as she hung up the phone before I even got a chance to say okay bye.

I hung up the phone and went out of my room and down stairs and wait for Leah to come over. For some strange reason I have this feeling that Embry would come over before Leah shows up. I just hope he doesn't.

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	21. Chapter twenty one : the break up

**Chapter 21 : Breaking up**

I was waiting for Leah to show up when I got a knock on the door. I was afraid to answer the door. But what if it was Leah? So I decided to answer the door and guess who was standing there? Jake! Great what is he doing here? I gestured him to come in. He planted a kiss on my lips and then pulled away. We walked to the den of my house and sat there. I wanted to ask him why he'd come over. He pulled me closer to him.

"Shel, your probably wondering why I am over here," he said, as if he'd read my thoughts.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"Well, I didn't want you to have to break the news to Embry all alone," he said.

"I would be okay, but thanks for you support," I replied.

"I know Embry would act weird and freak out, that's that other reason I came over," he said, as he kissed the top of my head.

"I know this will hurt him badly, but I haven't really been happy with him since I got out of the hospital," I said.

"Shelby, I just want to tell you that I love you and I'll be here with you," Jake said.

"Yes, Jake, I know and I love you too," I replied.

We were talking and watching TV when I heard a car pull up and I recognized the sound. It was Embry's BMW. I fixed my hair a little then I walked to the door to open it just as he was about to knock. He never used to knock before. He kissed me on the forehead. I just smiled. Then he walked into my house and saw Jake standing in the hall that leads to our den. Embry turned to face me.

"Shelby, what is he doing here?" he asked with an accusatory tone to his voice.

"Um, he's here to help me break the news to you," I answered uncomfortably.

"What news?" Embry asked.

"About our relationship," I answered.

"What about it?" he asked.

"I thought I wanted to try to work out our differences and see if things would be the same, but they're not. And then, when Jake came to see me every day at the hospital and you didn't, well, I got closer to him. When you couldn't even stand to be there with me, I wondered if maybe things weren't meant to be with us after all. Now, I know that I blew it, too, don't get me wrong, even after my stay in the hospital, I got out and went right back to my druggie/drinking ways. But Jake was always there for me; he saw the good in me when everyone else abandoned me, including you." I shrugged. "I should have had this talk with you a long time ago, Embry, and for that I truly am sorry. I've been stringing you along for awhile now, and it's not fair to you. The truth of the matter is, though, I've come to love Jacob, and he loves me, too. So I'm going to be with him. I'm sorry."

"I did my best to make you happy," Embry said quietly.

"You did make me happy in the beginning," I replied.

"But, I love you Shelby," he said.

I turned to face Jake now, he was about to say something but I shook my head to warn him not to because I knew it wouldn't be nice. I knew how they both could get. I walked back to Jake and he wrapped his big arms around me. I could tell Embry didn't like it but it's all over with us now. For real. Embry did have tears in his eyes, I could tell. Like it didn't hurt me it did but that was the truth; I wasn't happy anymore. I did kind of feel sorry for him. Jake looked at me like it will be okay. And I know it will be okay.

"It would be best if you would just leave," Jake said.

"I don't understand this, you went behind my back with my girl," he replied.

"Embry, you don't understand," Jake responded.

"What do you mean, I don't understand?" he asked.

"She just told you that it's over," Jake answered.

"She will just have to tell me herself," he replied.

"She just did," Jake reiterated.

"You two just take it easy, and Embry, he's right, I did tell you," I finally opened my mouth.

"If you want to be like that, fine," he replied as he walked over to Jake.

I stepped in front of Jake, to make sure they won't start battling. But before I knew it, Embry had his fist in the air. The next thing I knew I was on the ground. I just thought Embry pushed me to the ground. I crawled to to the far end of the room. I saw Embry and Jake hitting each other. Please help. Embry was about to punch Jake when my brother came in the house. Neither of them stopped, but Kris and one of his friends pulled them apart. Embry still was trying to go after Jake.

"What's going on here?" Kris demanded.

"Shelby just told him that its over and he's not taking it lightly," Jake answered.

"You mean she told him it's over," Kris asked, pointing at Embry.

"Yeah, she told me," Embry responded.

"So you went after him because it's over and she's moved on fast?" Kris clarified.

"Yeah, he's my so-called best friend," Embry sneered.

"Well, I would like you to get out of our house now, since there's no need to battle each other," Kris said, keeping his cool remarkably well.

"Fine, I'll see you later, Jake," Embry yelled as he showed himself to the door. As he walked out he slammed the door behind him.

"Why did you break up with him?" Kris asked.

"Kris, I was just not happy anymore when I was with him," I answered.

"So you moved on to his best friend," Kris asked.

"Yeah. Why not?" I answered.

"It's not right, Shel," Kris said.

"I wasn't happy with him, like I said earlier," I responded, shrugging my shoulders. I felt like a whiny child, but I didn't care.

I turned to see Jake's face. I could tell that he wasn't too happy about everything that was happening right now, and I didn't blame him for this. It was all my doing. I wanted Jake to myself, I know it was selfish. Plus, after what he did to me, why be with him? But I forgave him, my father doesn't know it was him, and he won't find out or else he would kill him. After Embry had left Kris and his friend went up to his room. That left Jake and me alone for a while. Jake and I went out on our pouch sat and talked. I was never like this around Embry. And I could be, that I know. Jacob wrapped his arms around me. I liked being in his strong arms. I kissed his chin. I closed my eyes and laid my head on his strong chest. I felt his hand moved to my head and he started to play with my hair. We were like this for a while. And let me tell you it felt so nice.

"Shelby, I just am glad you choosing me and not Embry," Jake whispered.

I was afraid that he was hanging around my house and listen to us talk. At this point I really didn't care because it was over between us now. And I knew that someday he would get over me I hoped so, anyway. I took Jake's hand and put it up my my mouth and kissed it. He is my knight in shining armor. And I would be treated like a princess, like I should be treated. Don't get me wrong, Embry did treat me good when we first started to go out but once I told him about what happened to me, he thought I was lying. So I didn't feel as close to him as I used to and that's when I finally realized it wasn't going to work. But like I said before, I gave it another try. So he can't say I didn't.

"I did give him a chance though, Jake," I whispered, voicing my thoughts. As I looked around to make sure he wasn't here and listening to our conversation, if he was there would be a problem. Someone would get hurt. And it would be me. It would be one of them.

"Shelby, you mean everything to me," Jake said.

"I am happy I picked you," I replied.

"I think you made the right decision, " he said.

All I was thinking was what if he was hiding and waiting for Jake to leave so he could attack me? I hoped he had more sense than that. I kept looking and watching to make sure he wasn't around. After we had our talk and our alone time we went back into house and watch TV. That was when we decided to do something.

I got up and walked over to the light switch and flick it off and headed back over to Jake . As I got back to him I stood there in front of him and start getting undress, first I tore off my blouse then my bra, I threw them on the floor. Then next was my pants and panties. He just looked at me in awe. I rose of the sofa and decided to carry me up to my room so we can have some privacy so no one will find us. When we got to my room he closed the door and locked it. Then he carried me to my bed and started to take of his clothes. I walked quietly to my stereo to turn on some music. the first song was Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks. Then I walked back over to my bed and waited for Jake.

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	22. Chapter twenty two :The Cullen's  Reside

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**Chapter Twenty-two: The Cullen's Residence**

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After we made love, we laid beside each other, cuddling up. I closed my eyes and enjoyed this moment with Jake. Yes, I am happy to be with him. He is totally different than Embry. He's like my big teddy bear. There's a lot that happened between him and I, but I got over it shortly after it happened. Like I said, my dad doesn't know it was him and he won't ever find out. If he did, he wouldn't let me be with Jake, I'm certain of that. Anyway, he had his hands on my chest massaging it and I was trying not to think of anything else; that was easier said than done. The next thing I knew, he was on the top of me once again. He put his penis inside of me and we began to make love again.

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_I can't believe we are at it again_. I am not a Sex Goddess but it felt amazing to have someone to make love to, well we had done it many times before but this was over actual time that I don't have to sneak around, the only one that we have to worry about now is Renesmee, I don't want to lose her. We are actually close and I could tell her anything. I found myself hoping again that she and Jake really aren't together. I wrapped my arms and legs around him. I couldn't stop I was enjoying this as much as he was. As he got deeper inside of me, I could feel my insides getting tighter. It felt great. We were at it for a while until we both couldn't breathe, he got down and lay beside me for about ten minutes before we got up and dressed.

After, we got dressed we went downstairs. I took out two cans of Pepsi from the fridge and handed him one. We both sat at the table, but I sat on his lap instead of the chair. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and I turned to face him. I kissed his cheek and whispered, "I love you." He took his hand and lifted my face to his lips and we kissed. I put my can down and wrapped my arms around him. We were talking for a while nothing special just like our relationship etc. I kissed him one more time before I got up and moved to the chair. I was pretty sure that he would have to leave soon to meet Sam for some patrolling. They normally do that once or twice a week; they take turns doing it. That way it's not too much on one of them. I don't like it much, since no one knows what might happen. _I think I should stop thinking and be with him before we need to part for a while._ Since I have to go over to Nessie's house I didn't even get the time to call her to even telling her I am coming over, I am pretty sure she will let me in anyway. I got up and went back to sit on his lap. We drank our sodas, then he did tell me that he had to leave. I hated that since being alone hurts me. But it was a good time to go over to Nessie's house.

After Jake left, I grabbed my keys and headed towards the door. I locked it behind me and walked towards Nessie's house, it wasn't to far of a walk. It only took me four minutes to get there with my vampire pace. By the time I got to her door she already had it open. She walked out and hugged me. Then she had a big smile on her face. A smile spread across my face, I could feel it. She gestured for me to come in.

"What a surprise to see you, Shelby," Nessie said.

"I thought you wanted to see me, that's why I didn't call. Well, that and I wanted to surprise you," I replied. I know it's no excuse, but I didn't want to blurt out I am screwing Jake. It would make me seem like a pig and then she wouldn't talk or be my friend anymore.

"It was a surprise and I am glad to see you," Nessie reassured me.

"I just want to see my friend," I responded. _Another excuse. One right after another, how nice._

"I was just thinking about you," she said.

We walked into the living room, where Bella and Edward were. They smiled and went back to the TV. Then we went to her room. Once we got up to her room she closed the door and we sat down on her love-seat. _I hope this goes smooth and not into a fight._ I just don't want to lose her. I stared at the floor for quite awhile until I got the nerves to talk to her. I was having second thoughts about this. What if they aren't broken up and he lied to me, and I broke up with Embry for nothing? _Shelby, you can do this. _Yes I know I can do this if I want to be with Jake. So here goes nothing.

"I came here to talk about you and J-J-Jake's relationship," I said.

"What about it?" she asked.

"Well, are you too still together?" I asked.

"What are you telling me?" she asked instead of answering my question.

"I wanted to know," I replied.

"Why do you want to know?" she asked suspiciously.

"Well I am your friend, right?" I responded.

"You're telling me that you and him are screwing each other," she replied knowingly.

"Well, he told me that he broke up with you," I said. I couldn't deny her accusation, even though I kind of wanted to at that point.

"I broke up with him when I knew something was going on. I just didn't expect you were the one," she replied.

"So you two are not together," I clarified.

"No, we are no longer together," she responded. Then, in the next breath, "I thought we were friends."

"Yes, Ness, we are still friends, it was an unexpected thing, you know," I said.

"I'm not gonna lie, Shelby. I should be pissed at you and upset, I never expected it from you," she said. "But actually? I'm not sure I care."

"Well it did happen, and there's nothing you can do about it now," I replied.

"Yes, you're right. Just be careful," she said.

"Yes, Mother," I replied.

We both were cracking up now, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I know she was a little pissed and upset but I didn't want her to find out from someone else. And like I said, I am much happier with Jake than I was with Embry. Don't get me wrong, I was happy in the beginning, but the tables have turned. As we were talking, my cell phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and flipped it open and saw it was Jake's dad Billy. I pressed the _talk _button.

"Hello, Billy," I answered.

"Hi, Shelby," he said.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Listen, I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but something bad's happened to Jake," he answered.

"Please tell me, Billy," I asked. I could feel the shock on my features.

"He got into a fight with Embry and now Jake's in the hospital," he answered.

"What do you mean _he's hurt_?" I asked, freaking out internally.

"Shelby, he is really hurt and Embry just took off," Billy answered.

"Nessie's dad will take me to the hospital, I will be there soon," I replied.

"Okay, see you then, bye," he said.

"Bye," I replied as I hung up my I phone.

"What's going on?" Nessie asked.

"Jake's in the hospital. Do you think your mom or dad will drive me there? I have to see him."

"Are you kidding?"

"No. That was Billy."

She looked as shocked as I felt. "Yeah, I'm sure they will. Let's go."

When we told them what was going on, Bella quickly agreed to drive me. Jake had been one of her best friends before she'd married Nessie's dad or had Nessie, and she said that if he was in the hospital, she wanted to visit him, too. After a couple of minutes of contemplation, Nessie decided to stay home, so within two minutes of hanging up with Billy, Bella and I were in her red Ferrari, speeding toward the hospital.

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	23. Chapter twenty three: Visiting Jake

**A/N: This is the last chapter; thank you for taking this journey with me.**

**Thanks to my beta, wmr1601, for all her hard work.**

Chapter 23: Visiting Jake

When Bella and I arrived at the hospital, while Bella was looking for a parking space on the parking deck next to the hospital, I looked over I saw a familiar BMW parked in the next lot over. _Great, just want. I don't need to see him. What am I going to do now? _It really busts my bubble that he decided to show up here and wait for me.

I walked out of Bella's car and ran over to the parking lot. _I can't believe he came to spy on me!_ I approached his car and opened the door. I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed at him.

"I wanted to see you."

"Embry, I told you: it's _over_."

"I know, Shelby. I just wanted to see you one last time."

"So long as you know that this is the _last _time," I said harshly.

"No, I'm leaving for real,"

"Well I guess this is goodbye, then." I turned on my heel and stalked away from him. I should've felt bad about leaving him there that way, but I didn't. Not really. I was more concerned about seeing Jake right now. And I knew that Embry was the one who put Jake in his current situation, so I wasn't interested in spending even one more second in his company.

So, that was the last time I saw Embry. I ran over to Bella and we walked into the hospital together.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing really, Bella."

"You sure? I'm happy to talk to you if you want."

"No, I'm good. Thanks."

"Alright, if you're sure. That's a standing invitation, though, if you ever need it Shelby."

"Thanks," I repeated.

We took to the elevator up to Jake's floor. When we arrived in his room, there stood Billy, Jake's father. Bella and I walked over to him and I gave him a hug. I was afraid to mention to him that Embry was following me, but I was glad that I told him off. I pulled away from from Billy and looked over at Jake; he was sleeping. I walked over to his bed, sat down and took his hand. He slowly open his eyes and turn to face me. He didn't look so good.

"Shelby, is that you," Jake asked. His voice was raspy and weak.

"Yeah it's me, Jake," I answered.

"Who asked you to come and see me?"

"Your dad called me so I asked Bella to drive me over to see you."

"I'm glad to see you."

"You don't look so good."

"Gee, thanks."

"I'm sorry, but it's true, Jake, you don't."

"Well, I don't feel so good, so I guess it fits."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No, why would I want you to go?"

"It seems that you don't want company."

"No, it's fine. Stay."

I let go of his hand and went to pull a chair close by his bed. He took my hand and held it. I had to smile. I never thought I would end up with Jake. But it turns out to be that way. I had a bad relationship with Embry. _Why do I still think about him? Maybe because he was my first real boyfriend._

_What about Jake?_ Yes, I am in love with Jake. I just stared at him. He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it.

"Guess who I saw?" I asked.

"Who?"

"Embry. He was out in the parking lot next to the hospital's parking deck."

"He was out there?"

"Yeah, he wanted to tell me something and it didn't turn out good."

We were talking when we heard a knock on his door. Jake sat up gingerly to see who was at the door, I also turned to the door. It was Bella. Jake motioned for her to come in. She walked in. She walked to the other side of his bed. I kissed him and walked out of his room. But before I left I asked Bella why didn't she come in. She told me that she wanted to stay out so Jake and I have some time alone. Then I waited out in the hallway. I was glad that Bella drove me here.

I overheard them talking. The first thing I heard Bella ask was why he broke up with Nessie to go out with me. I was curious to hear his answer. But he was quiet for a while. I was getting worried since he didn't answer right away. I hope he doesn't love her anymore. A few minutes later he answered. He talked soft so I couldn't hear him.

I wondered why he kept it low so I couldn't hear him. So I open the door a little more without them noticing. But I still couldn't hear him. It really bothered me. All I got from his answer was he wasn't in love with her. But I know he still loves her.

"Anyway, Jake how are you doing?"

"Bella, how does it look like how I'm doing?" he answered her question. I could tell by his tone he was getting pissed at her. All she did was ask him a simple question. I had my arms crossed. She didn't sound mad. I was a little upset with him. She did nothing.

Now I was one foot away from the doorway. I wanted to go in and be with him. I couldn't resist being without him.

Bella sounded like she was hurt and I didn't want him to do this to Bella. I walked back into his room. Both of them turn to face me. I felt like I shouldn't have come in. But I wanted to be with him. So I walked next to his other side of the bed. I sat next to him. I took his hand and held it.

"I overheard you talking to each other, and I was so worried about the one question you asked, " I said to Bella.

"The first one right?"

"Yeah the first one."

"He answered me, he told me that he isn't in love with Nessie."

I just looked at both of them; I somewhat knew he still in love with her. But I can't force him to say anything.

I didn't know if he would say it either. But I'm happy to be with him.

"Well I will let you go for now. Shelby, do you have a way to get home?" Bella asked.

"Yeah I'll call my parents to come and pick me up," I answered.

"Okay, I'll see you later."

Bella stood up and walked out of the room; now it was just Jake and me. We kissed and that was it. Now I have the boy of my dreams. And my ex left forever. I now have everything I ever wanted.

What began as a nightmare ended up being my dream come true.

THE END

**Thank you for reading; please review. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.**


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